Monday, May 15, 2006

Song Spoilers

Well, by now I'm sure you've already heard the song spoilers for judge's choice for Elliott, Katharine and Taylor for Tuesday's show. In case you haven't, they are:

Katharine -- "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" -- Simon
Taylor -- "You Are So Beautiful" -- Randy
Elliott -- "What You Won't Do For Love" -- Paula

With her pick for Elliott, Paula has cemented her status as Forever My Girl. It was Randy who gave Elliott early props, but Paula has come on strong for him, and this song choice proves her adoration. Recently, Paula admitted that she wants Elliott to win this whole thing. And this song choice of hers puts the olive in my martini. There is no question. With this song, Elliott's going to wreck shit. Women's underwear will spontaneously disentegrate as he croons. Later that evening, babies will be made. That is the lustful power of "What You Won't Do For Love."

I don't know what the dark lord Clive will pick for Elliott, but if history is any indication, it'll be something that sounds really lame in theory but which Elliott will sound fantastic on. (Unless he has it in for Elliott, and I don't see how anyone could have it in for the boy at this point.) As for his personal song, I won't sweat that. Sure, Elliott's made a couple of lackluster choices (If Tomorrow Never Comes/Heaven/On Broadway), but never anything tragic. And mostly, he picks stuff that he sounds amazing on, and I'm confident he'll keep stepping it up. Lucky for him, he's peaking at just the right time in the thing. (And Paula's choice of "What You Won't Do" should have the female audience peaking for him, too, right on cue.)

Say what you want about Paula. But she knows what tranquilizers to mix with rum to get the perfect, TV friendly mix of loopy personality going on, and she apparently also knows old-school sex music. It's a long competition, with plenty of opportunity to falter or grow weary. But Elliott just keeps getting better. (though it does look like Ray Charles and Journey will be figuring into this somehow.)

As for Kat, I don't care what she picks. Exhibitionist twat laughed when she did her trip home and some DJs made fun of Elliott on air in front of her. Like I wasn't already gunning for her. McPhucking Bitch. Plus, she'll probably choke -- again. And with everyone else now voted off, that layer of protection which had previously worked as her Heimlich manuever is gone, so she'll suffocate on it this week and be gone.

I've heard several different rumors about Taylor's picks. I do know the Joe Cocker song Randy handed him should be interesting. Will he be Taylor doing a Joe Cocker song? Or will he be Taylor impersonating Joe Cocker doing a Joe Cocker song? Or, the worse scenario for him, but potentially good television, will he be like John Belushi impersonating Joe Cocker on a Joe Cocker song?

In the potentially troubling department, there was a rumor in the comments section of MJ's blog that Taylor may be doing Springsteen's "Dancing In The Dark." I don't know what to say to that. I like Taylor quite a bit. And yes, Bruce allowed "Because The Night" to be performed earlier this year on the show, but that's not really a "bruce" song. Obviously, I love American Idol. But hearing a Springsteen song on Idol would be like taking a world-class Morton's Godiva chocolate cake and then blanketing it with Cheez Whiz. Grotesque, yes. Plus, it would break my heart. But I shan't fret. It's just a rumor.


laura petrie said...

Ah, "What You Won't Do For Love". It should be a hot moment to remember.

I'm reminded of a quote from the late, great Madeline Kahn -- "He has a voice that makes bra straps spontaniously fly open." I'm probably more paraphrasing than quoting, but the sentiment is there.

Noone said...

I have to agree What You Won't Do For Love will be gorgeous and even though I'm nervous about the guess work for the other songs I have to remember that Elliott can make any song work for him. I'm anxious and excited in equal measure.

Can I also draw you attention to the new TV Guide you get in the States. Yaminions are drooling over a picture of Elliott in a white photo shoot - he looks devestatingly handsome and will hopefully put pay to constant snipes that he's not sexy or marketable. He's damn hot.


SusanD said...

Love you Petrie! Love that quote, too -- perfection!

Noone -- *sigh* I'm a bad Elliott lover. I dig Elliott. I think E's quite hot. I've thought so for quite some time. But that photo creeps me out. It's plasticized looking to me. Very "hollywood" airbrushed, soulless, boy-band, de-masculinized, airbrushed, un-Elliott looking picture. Honestly, the same with Taylor's. They posed and airbrushed Taylor so much he doesn't exactly look like Taylor in that picture -- he just resembles him. But hey. If most people like it, and if it gets people to say, "hot damn!" and to vote for Elliott, then I'm all for the picture.

Suki said...

What you wont do for love - nice, very, very nice. McBeaver laughed at my boy's expense did she, now where did I put that make the silly bitch fall off stage spell?

Noone said...

Susan, you're right, you right (as always) because Elliott does look airbrushed to death but that's what the US (and increasingly the world) expects and so I was thrilled that he airbrushed up so successfully. I actually love another in the TV Guide article that showed Elliott in a more truthful way, he's having his haircut, and once again he looks really great.

I'm so tired of the comments about how 'ugly' he is...just exhausted by people's shallow stupidity.

Noone said...

Oops, excuse the 'people's' - its very early here.

Pamela said...

Great to find this great blog. You're a wit, Susan. I like your style (so says one writer to another, for what that admission is worth).

I've become a big Elliott fan and it's become apparent I am so not alone.

Susan, I should say that my First True Love IS Bruce Springsteen so we get along on many levels. Slap me five. (I wanted to cry when that faux singer Becky O sang "Because The Night." I kept telling people she sang the Patti Smith version to put as much space between that glorious song and that Becky's most unglorious voice.)

Can't wait to go shopping tomorrow for new underwear. Looks like I am going to need extra pairs on hand. ;>

I would love to see that TV Guide/Elliott photo but it's not showing on my end of the screen. Is there a link to view it somewhere online?

Much thanks and Give 'em Helliott, Yamin!

Pamela said...

eta: edit that last request-- I found the photo by deleting the "IMG" tags at either end.


Cageme said...

Clives Song Selections:

E.. Open Arms "Mariah Carey version"

K.. I Believe I Can Fly

T.. Dancing in the Dark "Springsteen version"

SusanD said...

Suki -- between Simon and Clive, I don't think we have to do much to hammer the final nails in Katharine's coffin. They've really given her tough songs to overcome. (hee!)

Noone-- I do love the haircut/shave picture. He's hot in that one!

Pamela -- thanks, it means A LOT to hear that from a writer. Hang on girl -- Taylor IS doing "Dancing In The Dark." Um.

Cageme-- thanks for the info, though it hurts my heart.

Noone said...

I don't like E's song but I'm sure he'll do something wonderful with it - whether it gets appreciated by Clive-the-jerk is a different matter.

This is what he said about Elliott -

"He really came through with the ELVIS PRESLEY material, probably the best of any of the other artists," Clive tells ET. "What Elliott has to be careful about is that sometimes he gets too hip for the room. Sometimes he tries to show, 'I am different from the others,' and he goes into cool jazz, or he will go into songs that America does not know."

I'd like to slap his lizard face. Elliott is the contestant with the least 'attitude' I've ever witnessed, he just happens to have a voice that perfectly matches the songs he sings. AND, I want to buy an album full to bursting with songs that mean something to E and not some MOTR fecking crap.

I'm so angry at this snide and totally misguided view of E and the implication that America (and the rest of us) don't deserve something of the best quality rather than some vile commercial comprimise.

SusanD said...

Noone -- I'm with you all the way on the Clive comments. A big part of what I like about Elliott is that he picks GOOD stuff instead of schlock, and I think he really LIKES what he picks to sing.

And, that said, Clive is exactly right about "Open Arms." Elliott will nail to the wall and people will sit up and vote like mad for him, because they know the song.

But be prepared -- that's the double edge of an AI contract. If Elliott wins, he *won't* make a record with hip, cool songs that show off his occassional vocal pyrotechnics. It'll be pure shit music aimed for the masses. It'll be "Heaven" instead of "Moody's Mood".


I don't care. He wants to win, so I want him to win.