Monday, December 27, 2010

Happy New Year

I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays. Mine were nice, and I certainly don't have anything to complain about. One thing I did notice this season, though, regarding my mood/attitude/whatever you want to call it -- I've always been very lucky in the sense that I'm easily amused. I've also found over the years that there are tricks to sort of fake my way to happiness. Even if I'm not in a great mood, I can fake it until it becomes an actual good mood.

But the holiday season usually inspires a bit more than happiness. All that merry-making and celebrating and festivity and eating and drinking and decorating and giving and receiving are usually catalysts that hit a critical mass to formulate something more potent and rare. Joy.

And this year, I realized that I can't fake my way to joy. I can get to content and even happy, but that final, wonderful leap to joy isn't something I can fabricate. It either happens or doesn't. This year, it didn't. And that's okay, cause, like I said, I was happy enough. But it also made me realize something else that's been going on for quite a while.

When I started writing, it was fun. There was, as lame as this sounds, an element of joy. When I started this blog, it was also out of fun. It's expected that writers have blogs to promo their works, but without going into a long diatribe of my personal peccadilloes, promoing my own stuff is difficult for me. But I figured I could slip in a few obnoxious posts about my books between other stuff that was enjoyable. So I did have fun. Seriously. As silly as it sounds, I got a kick out of working myself into a lather to bash Chris Daughtry. Good times, good times. Over the years, that enthusiasm has dropped off. This is not a commentary on the state of entertainment at all. I've always been capricious in my interests, and I assume this is another, normal "seven year itch" situation. For example, if the sight of my beloved Conan returning to late night -- wearing jeggings -- wasn't enough to inspire a giddy essay, I don't think very much will.

This is all subject to change, of course. Maybe I'm just lazy right now, or having trouble sitting my ass in a chair to write. But until that potential time that the pendulum swings back and I once again feel it appropriate to knock out some frothy, lunatic rantings about whatever, I didn't want to keep feeling guilty for only posting promo notices.

So this is my official acknowledgment that this blog has, indeed, devolved into not much more than a place to slap up notices about my writing. As you can imagine, given what I've just told you about my general apathy towards writing, those will also probably become less frequent. But I feel better about at least being blunt with the admission that I'm no longer making the effort to entertain here. I apologize for it, but I also thank you if you ever came here expecting to be entertained, because that's the biggest compliment I could've ever asked for.

So with that, I thank you for stopping by in the past, for reading this now, and I hope you'll continue to check back once in a while in case I either have smashing good news or do rebound with some vicious commentary. Until then, I wish you a very happy new year. I hope it's full of health and happiness, and, hopefully, even some smatterings of genuine joy.

Friday, December 24, 2010

House Money - CAPA Nominee

The Romance Studio has just released its annual CAPA nominees for the best in romantic fiction for 2010. My book, House Money has been nominated for Best Romantic Suspense. YAY! That's the best Christmas present I could ask for.

Kindle edition - only $3.99

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Shuffle Up -- RT Reviewers Choice Nominee!!

And the good news just keeps rolling in for Shuffle Up and Deal. It is nominated for a Romantic Times Reviewers' Choice Best Book Award for Best Small Press Erotic Romance/Fiction! (scroll down the page to get to the small press section)

So happy and excited!

Paperback - $15.75

Kindle - $2.50

Shuffle Up at The Romance Reviews

Just got in another very cool review for Shuffle Up and Deal. This one is from The Romance Reviews. Michelle R said it's "My favorite romantic comedy of the year."


White Lightning by GC Smith

White Lightning: Murder in the World of Stock Car Racing is the debut novel from GC Smith.

E.Z. Carter is the team manager of White Lightning racing. He's got a checkered past, but a very bright future. White Lightning, owned by his wife Addie, is near the top on the circuit and is within reach of the championship with just a couple more wins. But things take a sudden and dark turn when their star driver, Fairman Slinger, wins a heated race under a cloud of suspicion. Worse, that night, Slinger's wife is found murdered at the hotel -- and it's E.Z. who discovers the body. Competing team owners, suspicious cops, and E.Z.'s troubled past all congeal to make this an expolsive -- and potentially devastating situation.

Smith gives us genuine southern voices and flair, and there's plenty of stock car action to keep things revved. E.Z. is a likeable hero, and Addie is a firecracker as they lead us through the world of stock car racing and this mystery. Just like a NASCAR race, this story is fast, fun, and full of dangerous turns.

Paperback - $13.50
Kindle - $5.00

Thursday, November 25, 2010


I have plenty to be thankful for, not least of which is readers, because without them, there'd be no need for writers. So I am thankful for all the wonderful readers on this Thanksgiving.

Though writing comes easily to me, the business of writing and publishing are not always the most breezy and fun areas to navigate. It's very easy to become jaded, discouraged, or downright bitter in this industry. Therefore, I'm also indebted to the wonderful publishers and editors who've helped me along to either make my work better or further my career, or, often, done both at once. Liz Burton at Zumaya and Dan Reitz at Mundania are just aces. Zane and Maxim Jakubowski, by publishing my work, have made me feel like I earn the right to call myself a writer. And Susie Bright made me feel like a writer who was doing something right.

I'm not the easiest person to get to know, or to get along with. I know that. Really, I do. But, somehow, there've been a few people who've been able to tolerate me long enough that I consider them not just colleagues, but friends.

Ellen Meister is the kind of writer, who, at a quick glance, could inspire insidious jealousy. She's gotten the big deals and had successful books. But instead of inspiring envy, she simply inspires, because she is the kind of talent that gives one faith in the system. She is a wonderful writer -- full of humor and great plots and unforgettable characters. Even better, and just as rare in this world, she is a truly classy dame.

Donna George Storey elevates sex with smarts, infusing elegance and culture and beautifully languid word precision into truly sultry situations. She's also a fine friend, both caring and considerate and always ready with a joke.

William Reese Hamilton takes me to bygone eras I've never known and brings them to life just as he enlightens me with vivid depictions of far-off corners of the world. Better, he's always close with an encouraging word or unabashed praise.

Last, but certainly not least, is the incomparable Donald Capone. He's a better writer than probably even he knows -- full of life and humor. And he's also the most generous person I've ever met. Time, money, and work, he gives it all away freely by being a renaissance man in the realm of publishing. Cover designs, editing, publishing, critiquing, and promoting -- I've never seen anyone give back so much to so many other writers. Alas, no one's perfect, not even Don. Witty and giving as he is, he's also a Yankee fan. I am so grateful to know Don, but also grateful he's got that fatal flaw that keeps me from developing a mad, hopeless crush on him.

Reviewers. There's a double-edged sword. Of course, writers are tremendously thrilled and flattered when they get praise, and a good review makes the arduous endeavor seem worthwhile. So I am most certainly thankful for all the readers who've taken the time to read my work, and then gone the extra step to review it kindly. As this is a kindly holiday, a lot of people would be classy and thank all reviewers, for both the good and the bad. But this is Thanksgiving, not "I've lost my fucking mind and balls day" so, really, if I'm being perfectly honest, I'm not feeling so kindly inclined toward the bad reviews. Basically, if you trashed my work, there's a pretty high chance that you're either thickskulled or twunty, or possibly both.

Of course, that does come with a caveat. If you trashed my work using adjectives such as hard, rough, or edgy, then I probably took it as a compliment even if you were abundantly clear that wasn't your intention. Bonus points if the negativity was due to my preponderance of filthy material. And triple score if there were then comments about me being overly sentimental or gushy. Those are exactly the sort of comments that make my dark soul brighter, my nasty, libidinous pulse quicken, and my mushy heart swell.

Also, I am thankful for vodka.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


I know I've been quiet, and I have no excuse. I'm just not very verbal or vocal these days. But I have, naturally, been busy watching plenty of TV. Of course, I'm watching HBO's Boardwalk Empire. I don't know what to say about this show. I love Steve Buscemi in the lead role, as he brings the gravitas and the only bits of much needed lightness. The sets and costumes are fucking amazing. All the production is top-notch, and the acting is great, too. But I'm just not in love with the show. I want to fall for it. I really do. But when this week's episode ended and they started the next week's previews with "Only Three More Episodes To Go" and I was like, "Thank God!" I realized I probably wasn't going to fall in love with it. But it is good. Just not great. Lacking in some humor. Chiaroscuro, HBO.

What I did love on HBO was Bored to Death. Jason Schwartzman, Ted Danson, and Zach Galifianakis are comedy gold, and the wacky, pulp inspired writing is just zany and self-aware enough. Well done, Jonathan Ames. I hope Zach G doesn't get to be too big of a star to return for another season of this show.

I also enjoyed Showtime's The Big C, mostly because Laura Linney is absolutely luminous. There's just something lovable about her, and when she smiles, it makes me feel good.

But what I really want to say a few words about is NBC's Community. Mostly, I want to talk about it because I'm concerned that no one is watching it and it's going to get cancelled. That'd be a shame, because although the show is admittedly uneven, when it's at its peak, there is nothing better. It's extremely strong on characters, sometimes reminding me of the classic Taxi. Troy and Abed are the best bromance on TV, and Joel McHale really does anchor the show with the perfect mix of arrogance, apathy, and, when needed, heart.

There are throwaway and even crappy episodes. But then there are ones that are almost legendary, such as the Goodfellas chicken finger episode, the paintball episode, this Halloween's zombie-fest, and even this past week's "bottle episode," which proved that Community's cast of characters and the writing is sharp enough to hit brilliance even without the stunt episodes -- although I guess a bottle episode is a stunt in and of itself.

In closing, don't order HBO just for Boardwalk Empire, but do tune in to NBC and help keep Community enrolled. Thanks

Donna George Storey

And another of my favorite writers, Donna George Storey, has a couple of spicy stories up live to heat up your cold November nights. "Spring Pictures" at Clean Sheets, and "Secret Gardens" at The Erotic Woman. You're welcome!

Alicia Gifford

One of my favorite short story writers is Alicia Gifford, and she's featured this week at rkvry. There are links to lots of her stories, and I think you'd really enjoy this, because she's entirely unique.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Ellen Meister's The Other Life

Funny and talented writer Ellen Meister has a new book coming out in January. The book is The Other Life, and it is now available for pre-order, and it sounds like it's going to be a winner.

What if you could return to the road not taken?

Happily married with a young son and another child on the way, Quinn Braverman has the perfect life. She also has an ominous secret. Every time she makes a major life decision, she knows an alternative reality exists in which she made the opposite choice-not only that, she knows how to cross over. But even in her darkest moments-like her mother's suicide-Quinn hasn't been tempted to visit . . . until she receives shattering news about the baby she's carrying.

Desperate to escape her grief, Quinn slips through the portal that leads to her other life: the life in which she stayed with her exciting but neurotic ex- boyfriend, and is childless. The life in which-as she is amazed to discover-her mother is still very much alive.

Quinn is soon forced to make an impossible choice. Will she stay with the family she loves and face the painful challenges that lie ahead? Or will a more carefree life-and the primal lure of being with her mother-pull her into her other life for good?

This gripping emotional journey is both shocking and poignant . . . as the bonds of love are put to the ultimate test.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Congrats Sue & The Pegasus

Congratulations to Sue Nami! Her book As The Pegasus Flies is a finalist in the 2010 USA Book News Awards! Well deserved!

And you can also check recent installments on The Pegasus Blog.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Capone Interview in Eclectica

My good friend and talented writer Don Capone interviewed me for Eclectica Magazine. It's live right now, right here. He's funny, you'll like it, check it out.

And while you're there, browse the rest of the current issue of Eclectica, featuring a great story, "Keepers of the Faith" by William Reese Hamilton.

Monday, September 13, 2010

In Need of a Transfusion

Both True Blood and Entourage have wrapped up for the summer, but it was, sadly, neither an exciting nor satisfying night.

Out in Hollywood, Ari tried to pull all stops to save his marriage but he fell flat and his wife left him. Meanwhile, E's impending wedded bliss took a hit as his fiancee's father requested he sign a pre-nup, which was, sadly, the funniest part of the show. I have grown to finally like E and even his tiff with Scott Caan has been some of the smirkier funny material this year. But, that was all small game as the ticking bomb that was Vince finally went off, as much as Vince can. First, I will say that it's been a breakthrough year for Adrian Genier, as he's been particularly good this year as he gets crabby, high, frustrated, bombed, lovesick, high and then bitchy again. He's done a good job with the role. And I don't really mind the VH-1 "Behind the Music" Vince gets hooked on drugs arc so much. I just think they missed some grand comic moments with it, too.

I mean, this show did used to be a comedy, but this season was treacherously dark and this finale was downright depressing. I used to be able to count on Entourage to always deliver the goods. After the tension and mad scrambles and worries, the miraculous culmination would always happen and the boys would be okay and in a ridiculously better situation. But with Vince bottoming out, it's also caused splinters in the relationships and this year was like watching fucking "Thirtysomething" with the tedious grind of emotional bullshit. I always hated "Thirtysomething" and I don't watch Entourage to feel bad. The coup de grace of it all came as Drama, as always, went way out of his way for "Baby Bro" and was trying like hell to help him. He scuffled with Eminem (okay, that was a little funny) and tried to protect Vince, but Vince got his face all bloodied and bitched out Johnny. NOT ACCEPTABLE! I don't give a fuck how coked out Vince is. Going after Drama is just never forgivable. So between that and the Gold's forced breakup (not particularly well developed, btw) it was just a pisser of a capper to the evening.

Also falling to the devil of drama was True Blood. I've said before that this show is at its campy best when it acknowledges what it is and works within those parameters. But it's been derailing this season with some overly heavy lines and, frankly, piss-poor character turns. This whole business with Sam is stupid. Jason and the HotShot line is fuckin' weird, and, worse, it's boring. Bon Temps used to be a fun place and this show worked because everyone revolved in everyone else's orbit, but they've pulled all the separate storylines apart this year and never brought them back together and so everyone is off doing whatever in their own universe and it's just not cohesive or fun. Tara's hair looks cute, I will say that. But even Lafayette is getting lost going off with Jesus while Arlene has Daddy issues and Godric reappears in visions to Eric. How fucking dumb. If they didn't want to let Godric go, then they shouldn't have killed him. They've gotten to the point with bulletproof characters that all risk and excitement is gone while the cast and storylines bloat and they keep trying to fill the space with dark drama which ends up coming off like exaggerated ennui.

I know they've laid the groundwork for next year's season of the witch, but I'm having a hard time caring anymore past the potential for naked Skarsgard and Manganiello. I did love the King and his storyline and would've been sad to see him go, and I loved his interplay with Sookie in the finale. (Poor Talbot's remains!) And I loved Eric, coming back all covered with concrete goo and sticking it up Bill's ass. I have been WAITING for Sookie to figure out that Bill allowed her to be nearly killed by the Ratrays! And I love that she was too dumb to go there but Eric just throws it right out! But then things turn to shit with the Crouching Queen, Hidden Vampire high-wire fight between Sophie and Bill. I mean, really! Really? Exacerbated only by Sookie's disappearance into fairy-land. *Sigh.* While Entourage leapt wholeheartedly into drama, it seems like Blood just ran headlong into the abyss with a bizarre mix of absurd and boring.

I know it sounds harsh. But it was a quick and sharp decline these past several episodes, and even though Ball himself penned the finale, it was just...lackluster. And that, for a television show, particularly on HBO, is the True Death.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Not Everything is Broken

Eh, what can I say? I know I've been lax in my commenting on my favorite HBO summer fare, but, it's summer! The good times just keep rolling for me as they do in Bon Temps. What's new? Jason's dating a panther -- bestiality is the one last taboo, huh? Check that off the list for True Blood. In the span of one and a half episodes, Sam became an entirely different character. I know we're all entitled to a bad night, but Godric on stake, people, that was fuckin' weird -- and since weird is a relative term on this show, you know it's hinky. But we've learned he's a killer and now it's haunting him since his little brother who is at this exact moment robbing Sam has stirred up all this aggression and so Sam flips out and calls poor Terry a shellshocked fucker. Boo, hiss! But YAY for the female viewers because Sam is looking mighty fine these days, and he's rarely wearing clothes, so I'll let it all pass.

What else? Lafayette is dating a shaman named Jesus, who may or may not be evil. Or maybe Jesus is dating Lafayette who's a shaman and maybe Laf is just having a bad trip. I don't have a clue how this will tie into the finale, but it might be good. Meanwhile his cousin Tara had a polar reversal with Sam. She found out that Jason scrambled Eggs and though she wanted to go all bloodthirsty on Andy about it, Andy was so pathetically repentant that Tara softened and then decided that nasty Sam was sexy again, so they're doing it. And the best news is that Hoyt and Jessica got back together! YAY! And we got to see Maxine miffed about it! So basically everyone who's not embroiled in the whole King Russell fiasco is getting laid, and I guess that's how Bon Temps got its name.

It's really only Sookie who hasn't gotten some for, oh, I think it's been a day now. But she was making out with Eric! YAY! But then Eric shackled her (YAY!) and professed his maker-love for Pam ("You know I love you more when you're cold and heartless") and set out to set a trap for Russell by telling him that Sookie's fairy blood will allow him to walk in the daylight. Oh yeah! We're allowed to say it now! WHAT IS SOOKIE? FAIRY! She's part fairy, people. And I did love Sook's reaction to that news: "That's so lame!" No, baby girl, it's not lame, it's just that the land of fairies is lame on not-TV HBO. But we'll take the unintentional laughs from that, too.

But, about the King -- I absolutely MUST comment on his madness. It's wonderful! I really wish he'd survive this season, because he's by far the most entertaining bad guy this show has ever had, and that's saying a lot! Plus, I just adore the candy dish/decanter that he's carrying poor gooey Talbot around in. That is such a wonderful touch. And his manifesto-like ramblings about world-domination are just so twistedly funny and nonsensical. I just...I just love him!

And I also still love Alexander Skarsgard. But, much like he and Pam, I love him best when he's cold and heartless. He's been great this year with his flirting with Talbot and machination-face he puts on while thinking about his Viking crown.

I love him so much I've taken to using his name as a profanity, which I'd previously reserved only for George Clooney, Al Pacino, Ray Liotta, and Keanu Reeves. For example, when I stub a toe, I tend to shout " OH, George Clooney!" I don't recall how this started, but it did a while ago. If I drop something on the floor, I give a vehement "Keanu REEVES!" Well, the other day, while in the midst of trying to change a lightbulb, I managed to shatter the new bulb, and it just popped right out: "Alexander Skarsgard!" It shocked even me. But there you go, that's true love, and Alex oughta be mighty flattered to be in current lineup of my made-up, luminary swear words. I'm sure he'll cherish the moment he heard about this just as he will his trip to the Emmy awards this week. I know, it's neck-and-neck for which one is the bigger thrill.

Also, Bill has been around. Pam sprayed silver in his eyes! And then he waxed eloquently about he and Sookie living boring soccer mom lives. And then, I don't know, he did some other stuff. Go Alexander Skarsgard yourself, Bill.

In other show news, Entourage is hurtling to the end of the season, and it feels like a really quick one to me. Vince is on drugs and in love with Sasha Grey and basically fucking everything up. Turtle is in shape and selling tequila that the owner of the company doesn't want sold. Ari is experiencing marital problems due to his ongoing assholery. (Boo, hiss, hate that storyline even though I guess we knew it was coming as soon as the season started off with Eric saying that Ari is the "picture of wedded bliss.") And Drama, as usual, saves the day by becoming a cartoon gorilla! And the very best part of it all is that Rhys Coiro has finally been back around as Billy Walsh! I have been waiting on this bastard's return, and it's been worth it. This time around, he's juxtaposed with Vince. Billy is all cleaned up and calm and he came up with the whole gorilla "Johnny's Bananas" idea for Drama while he keeps one eye on Vince as he derails. And the most recent episode ended with a fabulously hilarious shot. Lloyd finds Vince's stash of coke, and everyone stands around drop-jawed and the camera zooms out and there's Billy, fresh out of the pool, also gathered around and he's got that sick Medellin tattoo across his whole back! And he's the most sane one there now! Alexander Skarsgard, was that a beautiful moment.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Night on Oz

What the fuck? Is this True Blood or a supernatural rehash of Oz? The homoeroticism was flowing more freely than Bill's bloody tears this week. Not that I have a problem with that, believe me. Lafayette should get some from Jesus!

And, of course, if it gets Eric shirtless, I'm all on board!

But then we've got Sookie and Bill, rapidly becoming Beecher and Keller and hurtling toward my most despised couple on TV. God! I am so sick of them! Cry and make-up, bite and make-up, drain and make-up. And I'm so sick of their fucking theme music that's supposed to make me feel all sweet on them. I'm going to have a Pavlovian response to it and just start gagging as soon as I hear those strings start to swell anymore. I just hate them now!

Overall, it was an okay episode, I guess. It was by Raelle Tucker, and she's good at the dark and feely type of things, but I don't generally get a lot of laughs from her episodes. And, frankly, at this point, with the werewolves and soapy situations and ultra-violence, when this show doesn't acknowledge its camp appeal and takes itself really seriously, it doesn't get "heavy" so much as "dumb" to me. But, maybe I'm just jaded and miffed about the whole Sookie-Bill thing. I did enjoy muchly Sookie's scrapbook dedicated to them with its one picture. That was a little funny.

Also funny again was Talbot and the King. Talbot having his weekly hissy when Queen Sophie-Anne moved in was great: "I can't get Franklin's brains out of the guest linens, I had to bury werewolves under the gazebo, and that Sookie bitch staked Lorena!"

And things looked up when he and Eric got all naked, because let's face it -- they're both fine! And who knew it was so easy to seduce someone? "I'm bored. Take off your clothes." We go through all sorts of shenanigans for three seasons to get Eric undressed and it's just that easy. Love Talbot! But we all knew it would end badly, and though I enjoy Eric being all Ericy and staking him, I'm sad to see Talbot and his chafing diamond slippers exit already. Such a damn shame.

On the upside, Jesus returned and so did Alfre Woodard! Alfre was pretty funny, wielding that knife and greeting Jesus so sunnily. And now the door is opened and soon Lafayette will have supernatural abilities and Jesus will be his magic man in many ways. And no, none of that is a spoiler from the books, cause Lafayette died long ago in the books. They've just telegraphed this shit nicely. But it's all good.

Jason? He gets more reckless and more shirtless and sees some zombie-ass shit and just blows it off and worries about Crystal and I don't care about any of it. Though doesn't Hotshot fill the Aryan brotherhood void left by the closing of Oz? I tell you, all we need now is Cyril O'Reilly to run through with his sock puppet and it'd be like old times with a better setting.

Tara is in full-frothing snappy Tara mode, nastily warning Sookie away from Bill and then having disturbingly sexy dreams about Franklin. For real, his eyelashes alone in that shower scene were gorgeous. Poor Tara.

But Jessica was back!

She's still pining for Hoyt but she did some vampire-ninja training with Bill to fight off werewolves and then she ate Patrick Swayze's brother! YAY Jessica!! That was a heartwarming moment.

Also heartwarming was the return of Rene, cher! I know, he ended up being a psycho murderer, but he and that cajun accent are still way cute.

And then all of that wonderfulness was totally sullied by the awfulness of the Sookie-Bill reconcilement. I don't even know why I suddenly hate them, but I just do. This is worse than Ross and Rachel. Maybe they'll come up with their own little break-up tag line. Instead of "We were on a break" it could be "I will use this stake!" If only, right? Pfft.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Friday, August 06, 2010

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Hitting the Ground

It's a damn shame. It's a shame that this was the best episode of the season so far, and yet I'm conflicted about it. I'm not generally one of those "the book is better" people. Sometimes, adaptations are better, and when people want to dispute that, I shut them up with two words: The Godfather. So far, for me, True Blood has been both faithful to the Charlaine Harris books and also a refreshing departure. The added storylines work well and even changes (Lafayette alive!) have been great ones. But this week -- ugh.

But first, let's talk about the awesomeness! The king of Mississippi unleashes his ancient speed to save Pam! And then he goes off on a half-batshit crazy tirade! And then Eric shushes him down! And then he decapitates the Magister! Huge laughs. HUGE! By this point, after seeing him smarm his evil all over HBO shows, who doesn't enjoy seeing Zeljko-Magister's head go splat! Especially after he threatened Pam. Pam! And she took it like the vampire she is, totally cool under pressure. And amidst all his plotting and preening and posturing and pensive brooding, Eric takes the time worry for his baby girl. Awww! But then in comes the king with a flourish!

Denis O'Hare is chewing scenery like it was granola and he's oh-so-grand and glibly brilliant at it. Hail to the King, for he and his court have truly entertained this year. His best line? "Maybe you didn't understand the subtext of our conversation earlier, but THERE IS A NEW FUCKING AUTHORITY IN TOWN!" He said subtext! And he challenged the mysterious, enigmatic "authority!" He was like Cartman, all "you will respect my authori-tay!" And then SPLAT with the head! Scandalous, even for vampires!

But as awesome as that moment was, it's still not the top joyous "oh shit!" moment of the week. Sam, finally, was pretty interesting. Dog fights are a fairly safe way to make you instantly hate someone, and Sam infiltrating the fights was great. Him telling off Joe Lee was pretty funny, calling him out about his baggy underwear, having "no discernable life skills," but that was topped by him telling his mom that he'd always thought Tara had the worst mother ever, but that she had her beat. And yet, even that wasn't his best moment. His best was backing down the frothing, manic, attacking rottweiler, warning it, "Don't you snarl at me!" And the dog runs off! Sam's the alpha dog -- yay!

But as great as that was, he still got upstaged by a girl. Seriously. Seriously, how awesome was Tara? Tara's back in full raging Tara-mode, and she's super-juiced on V. So she kicked Bill out of a van into the sunlight!

Best moment of the show so far this season, I swear. That was some hilarious shit. I can almost imagine how that moment came to pass, too. I imagine Rutina Wesley reading the script from the previous week and her saying, "Aw hell no! I ain't being chased by no damn wolf!" (<--because I'm going to go ahead and imagine Rutina speaking like Tara, mmkay?) And so the producers or director or someone calmed her down and said, "Listen. 'Tina. Yes, you have to run across a field and get chased by this wolf, and it's even going to jump on you and take you down from behind. But listen, if you do that scene, the next week, we'll let you actually physically KICK Bill and send him out into the sunlight." And, as any sane person would reply, she said, "Fuck yeah, I'll get knocked down by a giant wild animal if I get to abuse Bill! That's fair 'nuff! And thank you for the opportunity!"

That was just enormously entertaining.

Also good?
Queen Sophie-Anne in a birdcage.
Eric's delightful blue sweater should finally bite the dust thanks to his diurnal dalliances that caused him to get the bleeds all over it.
Also having the bleeds? Lorena, Sophie-Anne, and presumably Bill. The bleeds crack me up every time.
Jason saying, "I never thought I was smart enough to be depressed."
Hoyt's new girlfriend insisting that he eat her biscuits. Last year it was banana pudding, this year, biscuits. Food double-entendre is always welcome.
Also funny, though probably not intentionally, was Sookie's vision of...

Oh. Okay. Let's get this out there now. Is there anyone reading this post who still hasn't figured out what Sookie is yet? If you didn't get it figured out from this episode, I'm done playing, cuz that was some obvious shit. So, if you don't know, and you don't want to be spoiled, stop reading.

Sookie's vision of fairy world. Godric on a goat, that was some trite-ass shit there! Whoo-whee, now that was twee! I will say this, though, I like the actress they picked for Claudine, and Sookie has never looked prettier than in that fairy dress with the fairy lighting and floaty fairy air all around.

And I do also love me some Anna Paquin. I don't talk much about her because I'm always bitching about Bill or squeeing over Eric or the dude who plays Alcide. But I do love Anna as Sookie. I love that Kiwi's American accent and I love her trilling screams and I love her crying jags and I love her tart sass and her sweet innocence. I know Jason's the stupid one of the Stackhouse siblings, but there have been numerous occasions where Sookie has done things that'd make Talbot's quip about being as dumb as a box of rocks being insulting to boxes and rocks ring about right.

But, and here we go, people, and I do apologize, in the books, Sookie's just not all that fucking ricockulous! And, in the book, Sookie staked Lorena. By herself, dammit! That just pisses me off that they just haaaad to change it and have Bill help her. Fucking, "rescue me" complex from the girls this week. Sheesh. Why, why, WHY did they feel it was necessary to change that detail? That was a big part of Sookie's street cred -- she managed to stake Lorena on her own! She (again) had saved Bill!

Way back in season one, I'd said that if it wasn't for the graphic details, Sookie would be a great role model for teenage girls. (And, by the way, when I say "graphic details" I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about the violence.) Sookie started the series by saving Bill. Last night, she was supposed to do that again. But oh no, someone has a hard-on for noble Bill and he somehow managed to rouse himself from manacles while being nearly drained to get a chain around Lorena's neck and subdue her for Sookie to sink the stake. Fuck that shit. My Sookie didn't need his damn help.

And another thing? Book Sookie loved her some Bill. But she wasn't stupid enough to climb into a locked space with him while he was nearly drained and then offer up her blood to him. Book Sookie, though often brazen and generous and bordering on deranged with her helpful streak is not actually an insult to boxes and rocks, and she knew better than to do that. It was deranged Debbie Pelt who locked her in the trunk with Bill. But oh no, not here. Here, Sookie climbs in and hacks up her arm and offers herself to Bill in a haze of worry and love -- and stupidity. I can't stand it. I just can't stand it.

Then again, I guess maybe that just made it a little bit funnier when Tara booted his ass out and he hit the ground! Even if he didn't splat like the magister's head, he probably learned to respect Tara's authority. Or at least her bend-it-like-Beckham right foot!

Monday, August 02, 2010

Sue Nami -- The Pegasus Interview

Sue Nami's As the Pegasus Flies is a fast-paced and funny collection of short stories set at Reader's Digest in the 1950s. Part "Mad Men" and part "The Office," it's got everything a light-hearted read should have: scandals, sex, surprises, and, by today's standards, perhaps the most shocking of all: plentiful smoking! In short, I loved it! Lucky me, I was able to track down Ms. Nami for an interview to get inside the head that got inside the lives of Reader's Digest workers.

Let's start at the start. What was the inspiration for this collection of wacky characters and their stories, Sue?

It all started with a photo. On my company's intranet homepage, everything is there--company news, important links, etc. One day there was a new feature called Oh Snap!, which is an old b&w photo from the company's archives. People are supposed to write a funny caption for it.

I wrote a 300 word story (instead of just a caption), using the photo as a prompt. It was fun, so I wrote part 2, 3, etc. until the end of the week, when the new photo was posted. I did it again the next week. It started to catch on. Every Monday I'd put up part 1, and finish the story with part 5 on Friday. I began to reuse characters, and refer back to previous stories. All really silly soap opera stuff--people running off to have sex and smoke post-coital cigarettes during work. Things like that. Money hidden in walls, secret passageways. Plus, I got to slyly make fun of the company.

So even though the pictures were inspired by your workplace intranet, I should assume that you did all the writing on your lunch hours or other assigned breaks, or even after hours, never interfering with your schedule, correct?

Correct. Off hours, mostly in the morning before work. Then I would post at some point during the day, usually right before I left for lunch. Sue Nami would never do anything besides work at work. In fact, she is NOT answering these questions right now while at work.

You're a fearless writer. By that I mean that you don't pull punches with crazy antics or surprises, which is great for the reader. (There's also an ample body count.) I have to ask, do you find it easy to go the extra yard with these stories, or did you have a struggle sometimes, deciding whether or not to "go there?"

I go wherever I want. In fact, the more outrageous, the easy (and more fun) it is to write. This style of writing, and the whole lack of pressure to be "literary" is very liberating. I hope it carries over to my regular writing. Plus, that's the way I live my life--fearlessly--so it's natural to put that in the stories.

You live fearlessly like Jessica and take rides in helicopters? Or do you have a dash of Bernadette and live dangerous by eating Taco Bell for lunch without taking Gas-X and living with the repercussions?

Somewhere in-between. I haven't ridden in a helicopter yet, because no one has built one for me, like Stu did for Jessica. But I would, if someone did! Bernadette eating Taco Bell without having Gas-X handy is just inviting trouble, not to mention serious gastric pain. Fearlessness has to have an element of fun to it. That doesn't sound like fun. What about eating tacos, then going on a bumpy helicopter ride? Anyway, my bio states that I live a quiet, enigmatic life. My bark is worse than my bite.

I personally loved Boom-Boom Bernadette, and of course, Lorenzo. And I'd love to hear more about Joey the Pinhead Shark Bait. Who were some of your favorite characters?

Lorenzo is probably my favorite. He is the most used because he's so versatile, and likable. A jack of all trades, a sweet-talker. I think he's actually the most complex character, with a history that has been explored some, too. He came here from Italy to join his first love. He loves the ladies, loves food, helps out his paesans. He knows his way around the kitchen and the bedroom. Plus, he wears cologne that smells like money! What woman can resist that?

So tell me, Sue, was your main motive in publishing this book because, as is so often claimed by your characters, "publishing is so lucrative"?

Publishing WAS so lucrative. Not so much anymore. I published the book mostly so it existed in a physical form. I wanted all the stories together in one volume; it was a moment in time that I knew would never last. And I was right. Maybe the movie rights will be lucrative.

I am jealous of you. Insanely jealous. You've already managed to garner the 3 big C's that I've always chased after: a Cult following, Controversy, and you've been Censored. Does that make you feel like a bigshot? I'd feel like a bigshot.

For a second there, I thought you were gong to throw an acronym at me. The corporate world loves acronyms. But I guess three Cs don't really sound like anything except a clearing of the throat. As far as feeling like a bigshot--I'm thinking of entering some sort of rehab. That'll bring me back down to Earth. Isn't that what a bigshots do? Maybe I can plead exhaustion, find a nice place upstate to relax. I hear the old RD headquarters is empty, maybe I can rehab there. I can also kick this smoking habit I've had since writing As the Pegasus Flies. I've been smoking like a mad man! Mad Men, get it? They smoke a lot on that show. Is this thing on? And by the way, you ARE a bigshot. Don't be modest.

Why do you think, after you built a cult following, you suddenly started getting censored?

Coincidence? Or not? It's funny, because I got censored during what was probably the tamest story I had ever posted—it was just a simple love story. Either RD didn't like the fact that I was going to publish a book (I don't know why they'd care, though), or some tight ass complained about the length of my stories. Everybody was having fun on Oh, Snap!, and some brat had to take his/her ball and go home.

Are they still posting "Oh, Snap!" features on the intranet?

Yes, but it seems to be losing steam. But I am still using the photos as prompts for my stories, which are now only posted on the ATPF blog. Occasionally I'll still post a regular old caption on Oh, Snap!

Can we expect a Volume 2 of "As the Pegasus Flies"?

Well, there have been three new stories since the banishment. I'm going to keep it going a little longer. I want to end it when I want to end it, not when RD wanted it to end. There is a good chance there will be a second book, if for no other reason than to annoy people.

Is there a Pegasus at the new Reader's Digest building?

No sighting of a pegasus yet, either living or in statue form. Or any form, for that matter. No pegasus scat around. RD forsook the pegasus. The magic is gone. The dream is over. Samson's hair has been cut off.

Girl to girl here, did you ever visit the storage room at the top of the spiral staircase in the old Reader's Digest library with a Lorenzo-like co-worker?

Well, how do you think I know so much about that little room? You either know about it, or you don't. But all in the name of research, of course. Actually the spiral staircase has now been removed, and the opening in the ceiling has been closed. I hope no one (Lorenzo, I'm talking about you) was up there when they did this.

Are you on drugs?
Depends. Do you consider peyote "drugs?" I use it religiously.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Shuffle Up -- Top Pick!

Such cool news -- Shuffle Up and Deal has been chosen as a "Top Pick!" of the month by RT Book Reviews Magazine. It's even featured on the front page of their website.

Reviewer Keitha Hart had this to say about it: "Fantastic! DiPlacido writes with humor and passion. The characters are well written and likable, and the shifting point of view is orderly and allows readers to mark the growth in the characters’ development. Love scenes are hot and inventive, but the attraction between the protagonists outside of the bedroom is just as enthralling. Readers will adore this unexpected gem that perfectly blends humor, sex and a satisfying storyline. " Full review available right here.


Shuffle Up paperback available right here

E-book also available

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


This is one of my all-time favorite works of fiction. It's a novella about a fifteen year old in 1945 at a Japanese internment camp in Manila. This story by William Reese Hamilton lives up to its title. "Fireworks"

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I Got a Right to Sing the Sartorial Blues

"I would love to rip you open and wear your ribcage as a hat!"

So says Lorena to Sookie. At this point, I'm not sure if Lorena drinks blood or just wakes up in the morning and does shots of crazy bitch to get her going. Ribcage hats -- if anyone could pull it off, she could. Or, also maybe Pam, but Pam would look hot in anything. And speaking of nutty women, how funny is Talbot? Bill murders a vampire in the foyer and Talbot just shrieks at his husband: "Does nobody care about our house!" Then, later, "You never take me anywhere!" They are so much more entertaining than the Baronnes ever were.

One style that's not so becoming on the ladies of Bon Temps is the "escaped from Juniper Creek" wardrobe, most recently seen on Jason's new love interest, Crystal. Seriously, is the HBO budget that stretched that they just raid each other's departments when in a pickle? Perhaps we'll see Barb or Nicki walking around in some of Sookie's old traveling clothes next season? Now that I think about it, maybe Eric's track suits are leftovers from Christofuh Moltisanti's closet! On the bright side, I do enjoy that they aren't bothering to clothe Joe Manganiello's Alcide at all! From wolf to naked, just the way we want him! But Jason and his pathetic letter jacket -- too funny.

And as for Eric, he's in tip-top shape, if garishly overdressed in a thin sweater.

Tsk tsk. On the upside, his flirting with Talbot is pure joy, not to mention his vicious attack on Queen Sophie-Anne, looking stunning in white pearls and pantsuit.

Those two together are just too smoking hot. And his love-hate with Sookie escalates! Get some Sook!

And I did love her showdown with the king. She went from tart to teary in under 30 seconds!

But once again stealing the show from Sooks was Tara. Tara! Tara, all trussed up in that awful nightgown and then Franklin, joining her in bed in his white silks. And then Tara not just biting his neck, but gnawing on it like it was a prize-winning rib at the state barbeque championships.

And then her choice of weapon -- that medieval spike-ball to bash in his brains, which she then wore as proudly as Lorena claimed she'd wear Sookie's ribcage!

Bill was appropriately dressed thanks to Lorena. She kept him in silver chains and his own blood.

You know how I feel about Bill getting tortured. It's always a welcome sight.

Poor Lafayette got his car all fucked up, before I could even figure out exactly what it was. (Someone? Anyone?)

Worse, he seems to have screwed the pooch with Jesus (that's Hey-soos, not the actual Jesus/Godricklike being) when Jesus finds out he's a drug dealer. He gets all sanctimonious and "take me home" on Lafayette. Seriously? How exactly did he think a cook at Merlotte's was driving a car like that in the first place? And why else would he be wearing gold eyeshadow and a kimono?

And as for Merlotte's -- I still don't really care about Sam's dog-fighting family. Fuck 'em. But I did love Arlene mouthing off to a customer about the peas: "Do you think this is Red Lobster?"

Next week, put on your Sunday best, people, because it's a truly pivotal episode, not just for the season, but the entire series.

Drama King

I want to talk for a minute about Entourage. This year hadn't really caught fire for me yet, but that's not unusual. Entourage has the luxury of a devoted viewership, so they can afford to have a few building-block episodes to set things up for the chaos of the rest of the season. Usually, I get a few more laughs from those early episodes, but it was still pleasant enough so I've been watching. Things took off this week for both Drama and Turtle. Though they're the supporting players to the supposed main draw of Vince and Eric, Drama and Turtle have definitely managed to steal the show outright over the past couple years. This could possibly be because Vince and Eric have hit a career point where they're at least safe. They may suffer aggravations or setbacks, but they're never really on the brink of disaster.

But Turtle is still trying to make his own way in the city, and he's still struggling mightily. This season is no exception, and just when he thinks he's making up ground, the bomb gets dropped that they're using him to get to Vince.

Meanwhile, it's no secret that I love Johnny Drama.

I think Kevin Dillon does a spectacular job playing him, too. Drama's an easy target, and he's suffered plenty of humiliation for laughs. At first glance, he comes off as an over-the-hill, preening, pompous fuck who's leaching off his brother. But Dillon is great at showing us the tiniest of cracks in his hard, self-loving veneer, giving us the insight that he's actually terrified of being a washed-up, arrogant sycophant. His constant humiliations are what represent the toughness of the Hollywood business, what can be so soul-crushing about it, to constantly be judged and deemed not good enough. But he's a scrapper, and he's intent, if not obsessed, with getting one more shot. It looked like he had secured his place with a hit network show, but in true Drama fashion, he went and fucked it all up.

But it's not like he trashed his good fortune for no reason. One of Drama's most endearing traits is his willingness to immolate himself for his family. In past seasons, no matter what was going on with him, he'd drop everything in a wink to help his baby bro. This past season, it was in defense of Turtle and Turtle's girlfriend that he effectively ambushed himself and destroyed what could've been his final shot at "success."

This year, he's got a producer in his corner, (the always awesome William Fitchner as Phil) and this guy has managed to produce the impossible: and Emmy-winning writer has written a script FOR Drama, and Phil has also gotten John Stamos involved, therefore securing network interest. The only hitch is that Drama now has to impress Stamos.

I love it when Entourage convinces stars to come on and play themselves as somewhat assholes, and they didn't disappoint with Stamos. During his supposed meeting with Drama, Stamos breezes past him, calling him "Jimmy" and sucking up to Vince. Vince eventually gracefully turns the attention back to Drama by having them play a game of ping pong. And that's when the Drama disaster begins. Drama kicks Stamos's ass. Stamos steams. Producer Phil freaks on Drama and tells him the sitcom is dead unless Drama manages to suck his way back into Stamos's good graces. It's a classic Drama scenario. Does Drama really have to back down and let Stamos publicly beat him to secure a job? Stamos cockily proposes the opposite. If Drama manages to beat Stamos again, Stamos will do his shitty tv show. This spells bad news for Drama all around. It made me squirm for him.

But, that's the beauty of where Doug Ellin has come with Drama. He used to be a punchline with his humiliation. But over the years, Ellin has taken him to heart with his fierce desires and unswerving loyalty and therefore has somehow elevated him to a sort of working-class hero for Hollywood. So when the game comes down, Drama of course loses, and then he takes it like a true gentleman. Stamos, of course, feels vindicated and agrees to do John's show now. YAY, Johnny Drama! And, of course, as Vince tries to console Johnny about losing in front of a huge crowd, Drama shrugs it off and says, "I threw the game." And we know he did. And we're really proud of him for doing it.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Lady Luck Giveaway

Hey everyone. I'm giving away a few copies of Lady Luck over at GoodReads. So if you're a member there, click on over and enter.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Lady Luck (Paperback) by Susan DiPlacido

Lady Luck

by Susan DiPlacido

Giveaway ends August 05, 2010.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

If you're not a member of GoodReads, you can also enter by sending me your name and address, and I'll pick a winner and send out a book on August 21. Good luck!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Sookie Goes Rogue

Hot on the heels of the news that Sookie is the fifth hottest girl's baby name of 2010 so far, our little Southern Belle went a little X-Men with her troubling touch when she again flashed someone's face with her palm.

Back in Bon Temps, times weren't so good for Hoyt, who took an irritating girl out on a date to Merlotte's, obviously upsetting Jessica. No news on the decapitated body that Franklin left in the ditch which was Jessica's kill. I presume things will only get rougher for our redheaded lass before the season catapults to the halfway point. But it was pretty funny to watch her get feisty with Arlene and glamour her customers into not tipping her.

But truly bringing the funny? Franklin!

Franklin and Tara brought it all this week! Horror! Laughs! Action! Heartrending wailing -- that was hilarious! I'm usually slow to warm to new characters, but Franklin has won me over. And Tara is the perfect, horrified foil for him. I hope they spawn lots of British-backwoods vampire progeny to be pissed off all over Mississippi and Tennessee.

Closer to the "I don't give a fuck" scale, Sam sunk deeper into his blood family's mire. The suspense is not killing me to figure out what's going on there. And thoroughly embedded in the "rat's ass or less" part of my interest-level is Jason and his blonde. Evs.

On the better side, Debbie Pelt! What a trashy bitch! I know we have to suspend our disbelief quite a bit for this show, and I'm cool with that. But I just sat there thinking there is NO FUCKING WAY that a guy of Alcide's caliber would ever be with that chick! But I'm really glad that he is. Quality television is finding the characters who make crack-addicted strippers seems soft and sympathetic in comparison, and Debbie achieves that goal.

And then there's Bill. *sigh* Poor noble fucking Bill. He's busted by the king for withholding information, then turns a cold shoulder to Tara and her plight, but then goes all renegade to try and save Sookie, only making things that much worse. That's why I love this show. Bill just causes the shit rolling right on toward Sookie and is unable to help her, but she turns on her light-saber hand and zaps the crap out of a werewolf to save herself. Good ole Sooks!

And, of course, who can forget Eric? Hot on the heels of Franklin, vying for favorite new character, is the king's lover-progeny Talbot. This guy is hilarious, but his reactions to Eric were priceless. And even better was Eric smiling and flirting back, subduing his concern for Pam and keeping himself in check until his spots the Viking crown.

Then we get a great flashback to Eric being all "I don't care about being king" and screwing handmaidens in the barn until his father gets mauled by a werewolf. It's a little odd that he's never crossed paths with Russell over the past 1,000 years before, but, if it gets us sex flashbacks, I'm all for it.

Also not to be forgotten? Lafayette dates Jesus! I *heart* it!

Question of the week? Why must all vampires leave their faces all blood-covered after feeding? Are they all, as a species, completely unaware of wetnaps? Or even their own goddamn sleeve?

As the Pegasus Flies by Sue Nami

I've got a little something unique and quite entertaining for you today. (If you like Mad Men, I think you'll LOVE this.) Sue Nami's As The Pegasus Flies is a soap opera set at Reader's Digest in the 1950's. It's filled with a crazy cast of characters, wild sexual encounters, and more mayhem than a David Fincher movie. In other words, it's great fun!

You can check her and the stories out at the pegasus blog. (Start from the oldest post, as the characters keep reappearing.) And as an added bonus, she now carries the delightful stink of controversy, as she's officially been censored at Reader's Digest! That's how you know she's churning out some worthwhile reading, people! As an even bigger bonus, just in time for summer reading, her ongoing collection has been published. Now available for just $7.50 at Amazon is the print version of As the Pegasus Flies. Enjoy!

Monday, July 12, 2010

9 Crimes -- of Passion!

Ask and ye shall receive! See that. Just a little bit of grumbling about the previous episode, I float that idea that the way to make it up to us is to give us shirtless Manganiello, and VIOLA! It's better than a magic trick. Alan Ball knows how to keep his faithful female fans happy. First scene this week, and we've got shirtless Joe Manganiello. They are totally picking up what I'm putting down! All apologies to Alexander Skarsgard, who's still one sexy sonuvabitch, but I'm not quite sure we can make human beings more good looking than this:

Seriously, congrats to True Blood for snagging an Emmy nod for best drama, even if the cast did get snubbed. But when they roll out the award for best-looking cast, Blood will certainly be in the running. And this from a show that I totally bitched about the lack of sex appeal in the men in the first season. Then again, the first season was being carried by Bill. Pfft. Bill.

Speaking of Bill -- Cripes! He's up to his ass in alligators, again. He's back in Lorena's clutches -- again. He's got to stay away from Sookie for her own good -- again. He's procuring strippers as entrees for royalty -- again. Oh, wait, that's new. He's getting totally dogged by Eric -- again! I do love that one, though. Because frankly, if it's Bill's fangs in the Magister's pliers or Pam's, go right on ahead and rip Bill's fangs on out, baby. Anything to save our fabulous Pam! If you weren't about sick and tired of Zeljko's asshole routine yet, then him taking silver to Pam probably tipped the scales. But I did love that Eric was fully on board to sell Bill up the river to save his progeny!

Though his intentions are noble, Bill's breakup with Sook-ay sent her into desperate sobs. Well done, again, for Anna Pacquin. That chick can pull off drama like crazy with tears and snot and all sorts of sympathy. Another thing she's good at? Throwing sparks with nearly any costar. As ambivalent as I am about Bill, she and he were hot. And then Eric? Off the charts. I love the twist that it was him dreaming about her this week. We are so gonna get Sookie-Eric sex before this is all over. But for now, her cuddling up to Alcide and his shirtless body just makes perfect sense. And when she went all bad-ass brunette and wore black? HOT!

Let's see, what else happened this week? Oh yeah, Jason went deeper into his psychosis of wanting to be law enforcement. Evs. Tara got bitten and abducted by Franklin -- the fucker. I hope she ends up staking his ass. Lafayette drove his new car! And Eric saved him from a bunch of redneck methheads! How IS Lafayette supposed to deal with all this fucked-uped-ness? Sam, he's got hillbilly trouble with his homefolk. But he hired Jessica! Let's hope she's not filling the "waitress-to-be-killed-later" slot at Merlotte's. And then, last, but certainly not least was the appearance once again of that Patrick Swayze-lookin' werewolf. I did a double-take the first time I saw him, then when he cornered Sook last week I was all, "Huzzah?" Then, this week, I read the credits and see that his IS a Swayze! Just as I was hoping he'd say, "Nobody puts Sookie in a corner" she damn well did end up quite cornered in a roomful of crazed wolves. Now I tell you, what more can a show do to get that Emmy statue. Swayzes and leather-clad Sookie and werewolves and silver and exsanguinated strippers and shirtless hot guys. If it doesn't get the Emmy, it at least gets my appreciation.

Friday, July 09, 2010

House Money -- New Review

Though it's still not available in paperback, the good news keeps rolling in for House Money! (Medellin, I tell you. Medellin, baby. Please don't let me end up like Billy Walsh.)

This latest is from Night Owls Reviews, and it's a sentence that makes me shiver with glee. I swear, I did not write this, someone else did. Melinda said:
"Man oh man move over Jackie Collins for Susan DiPlacido sure knows how to write gangsta."

YAY!! I got compared to Jackie Collins! I lurve Jackie's Lucky series, and it was obviously a huge influence on me and that review is like --- YAY!

You can read the full review right here. And you should check it out, because it's got more good stuff to say, like:
"The scenes of Las Vegas were great in this story, the tension of who's going to get the Oasis was awesome and all the characters from her previous books appear here. That was the great part seeing Marina, Miguel, Lisa, Val and Vinny were a treat to read about. If you haven't read her series you should go get them."

Damn right!

You can find House Money right here in e-book.


I have a huge collection of Playboy magazines. When I say huge, I mean I have every single issue (except one) from 1955 through 1998, including special editions like the Vixens and Lingerie. It's mostly in very good to mint condition, and I even have double copies still in the original plastic wrap for several of the decades. It's uh, well over 1,000 magzines. The only one missing is April 1958, and I technically have it, but it's "Playboy in Las Vegas" so I want to keep that one.

I want to sell this collection. So, if you or someone you know is interested, drop me a line. You can get me at susandiplacido @ (remove the spaces) Bear in mind that the shipping alone on this collection is going to cost a lot

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Boys -- and Girls! -- of Summer

Entourage is back! What's going on, you ask? Well, Ari is racing around and taking and making calls and pulling strings. Vince is doing things to make sure he's not a pussy. E is playing kissy-face with Sloan and not powerful enough to take care of business so he's calling Ari. Drama is getting slighted, and Turtle is getting shit-kicked by a girl. Everyone is too rich. Same old, same old, with Nick Cassavettes tossed in for good measure. Nicely done. Douchebaggy, it may be, but I still enjoy it.

What I'm also enjoying is the summer premier of Hot in Cleveland. It's another spin on The Golden Girls, but this time around, Betty White is in the Sophia slot. The jokes aren't all that fresh, but the cast is so damn likable, with Jane Leeves, and Wendie Malick. I adore Malick. She can take a tired old bit and still make it work with a weird joie de vivre. And Betty White? It doesn't matter if they underuse her talents by getting a cheap laugh by making say something coarse, she's still adorable. And I think Jane Leeves is falling into the Johnny Drama slot of having bad shit happen to her and getting humiliated and then recovering. You just can't have enough Drama in comedy.

It Hurts Me To Say It, But...

Oh Shit. Maybe the glow is gone, or maybe I was just in a funky mood. But this week's True Blood had everything going for it. It was written by Alexander Woo, who's usually one of my faves, and it had blood, sex, and violence to spare. But the opening clunked for me, and then the closing took the camp barometer into "cheezy" territory.

Look, I know I have a bit of an usual love for Goodfellas. But it's possibly my favorite film of all time, and maybe that makes me a little too touchy. The opening scene this week picked up exactly where last week's left off, with Eric and a wolf lunging toward each other. A bit of mayhem ensued (all good) and then, naturally, Eric overpowered the werewolf and after exchanging a few unpleasantries in his best Bale-Batman growl, Eric ripped into his neck and pulled big chunks out. Again, all good! Then, as the werewolf bled out on Sookie's rug, he looked up at her and calmly said, "I got your rug all wet." No. Just, no. It was Joe Pesci as mega-psycho Tommy DeVito and he'd viciously beaten a man nearly to death when he was suddenly overcome with a remorseful look and he sincerely apologized to Henry, saying, "I didn't mean to get blood all over your floor." THAT was a chilling and perversely funny moment. The homage here just...No. No.

Of course, I don't blame a show for trying, and I certainly don't blame Skarsgard, who's looking finer than ever playing his changing part this year with all sorts of devilish charm and chagrined care.

But even better, finally, there's new competition for the fox of the season award. Oh, you know I'm talking about Joe Manganiello as Alcide. Talk about too good to be true! Though he was terribly overdressed for his entire first appearance, I didn't really care. He's THAT good-looking. He's this hot werewolf and I don't know, I think he acted okay, but I didn't really even listen to his lines because, well, look at him!

Naturally, we had Jason to fulfill the absurd naked scene this week, appearing pantsless instead of shirtless while he struggles yet again with feeling, I don't know, like he needs a calling or something, I don't really listen, not because I'm so distracted because he's so hot, but because I only laugh at his idiot lines and then tune out his crisis of conscience shit because I don't care.

Sam, of course, is sucking shit again after meeting his weirdo white-trashy family. Lafayette got a shiny new car! But there are strings attached, courtesy of Eric. And Terry is all happy about becoming a daddy, even though we suspect the baby is actually serial killer Renee's baby. Tara is getting wooed and then glamoured by creepy new vamp Franklin who seems to be stalking Bill. Bill! Poor Tara, the only times she's happy, she's under some sort of mind control. And oh yeah, Sookie is wearing white again. All good soapy shit that should keep things rolling along and right on track for Blood. Meanwhile, speaking of gorgeous things, let's talk for a minute about Pam. She was, as always, HOT getting her some Estonian skank. And she was hilarious with Jessica, who is getting so pretty she's almost show-stopping. I'm really not as down with the girl-love as Pam is, but something about Jessica and that red hair and those blue eyes and I just feel so bad for Hoyt.

What else? Oh yeah! Back at the king of Mississippi's crib, another rug got ruined, but this time it was hilarious the way Talbot threw a shit fit over it and then the king calls him on his tantrum is all, "It's like Armageddon around here when someone chips a dessert plate." I approve of the king and his court, most definitely! Of course, they, along with uber-bitch Lorena have screwed Bill over, but of course, we the audience loves when Bill is tortured so. He cries, he gnashes, but then he retracts his fangs and does as he must.

And then he cries and gnashes and tries to rape Lorena but she loves it too much so he twists her head all the way around and it looks just like a scene from "Death Becomes Her" and it's supposed to be this sick, dark, disgusting awful thing for Bill and we should be horrified and perversely amused maybe, I don't know, but it was just so fucking...cheezy. I don't know if it was the effects or the whole thing but when I'm supposed to be revolted by the action and instead I'm just appalled at the poor quality it's not a good sign. Truly, there's only one way to win me back now, and I think we all know what it is. Nudity, Manganiello, next episode. Something tells me I won't be disappointed.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

House Money -- New Review

Just got in another review for House Money. It's from Coffee Time Romance, and Danielle had this to say:
I have to say I found House Money to be quite an intriguing tale...The ending was beautifully done and left me stunned. Ms. DiPlacido writes with so many twists and turns that I could hardly catch my breath before I was being led down another tension filled adventure.

This book is still currently only available in e-book version, but that just makes it a great buy.

Mundania E-Book - $4.99

Amazon E-Book - $3.99

Richard Thomas -- Transubstantiate

Richard Thomas's debut novel, Transubstantiate, a neo-noir, speculative thriller will be out on 7.1.10. To get all of the information just visit There is a synopsis there, sample chapter, blurbs, a podcast, all kinds of stuff. He is also giving away five copies at GoodReads, and the contest ends on July 1st:

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Blue Blooded

Fuck. My beloved Azzurri have been knocked out of the group stage of the World Cup, the first time they've exited so early since 1974. It's considered a truly shocking (and humiliating) showing for the Italian team by the press and soccer fans. On the bright side, I won't have to sit and listen to fartface Ian Darke commentate and root against them any longer. On the downside, well, obviously, I'm sad because they're out of the World Cup.

But I'm also sad because there was a lot of hooha about how old this team was. Ultimately, I really don't blame age on their loss. Though, I guess it does say something when your world-class keeper is knocked out with a back injury. Sheesh. But if you ask me, and since you're reading this, I guess you might care what I think, Lippi just never got his shit together assembling a top flight squad on the pitch during this tournament. He had guys on the bench that he had no business keeping on the bench. Andrea Pirlo suffered an injured calf on the eve of the tournament, but when he was finally brought in the second half of today's game, it made a world of difference. He's just clever and classy and his footwork creates openings and opportunities to pierce opposing defenses. Why the hell Quagliarella didn't play until the end of ends was beyond me. He showed his craftiness by orchestrating a truly brilliant goal. Worse, Genarro Gattuso finally got on the field in the first half of the game, but was pulled before his teammate Pirlo entered, and every Azzurri fan knows that those two work incredibly well together. It's just...frustrating.

Slovakia deserved to advance, as they put forth a truly solid and at times punishing effort. And the Italians did look, characteristically, not too concerned about being down 1-nil during the first half and even first 20 minutes of the second half. However, once Pirlo and Quagliarella entered the game, all hell broke loose in the best way possible. As Ian Darke sat commenting about the potential lack of heart on the Italian team, once the Slovaks scored a second goal, you could almost see the blue course through Italy's veins and they started playing absolutely monster soccer. The final 20 minutes of the match was once of the most exciting I could've imagined, and if the final score didn't shake out how it did, it'd probably be legendary. First Di Natale struck, and then Quagliarella appeared to strike, but he was called offsides by about a fucking inch. And don't EVEN get me started on the goal that Quagliarella scored that wasn't called a goal, even though Slovakia's defender was inside the goal line when he kicked it out. Oh, it makes me so mad!

But, enough. It's done. In those final 20 minutes, the Azzurri made me proud. But it is an older squad, and captain Fabio Cannavaro and one of my faves, Rino Gattuso, have already announced their retirement from international play. And I fully expect that in four years, plenty of others will be gone. So it's the end of an era for this team. If only they'd had more than 20 minutes of attacking brilliance out of the 270 that they played in South Africa. Fuck.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Fur Fetched

So, what'd we learn this week on True Blood?

1) If you're going to stash a corpse in Bon Temps, you better have fast access to a chainsaw lest some body snatcher come along and screw you over. Poor Jessica! Even with Pam's coaching, the girl can't catch a break. And I loved how once again we got the undercurrent that Bill was a shitty maker for not teaching Jessica how to drain someone. He is the worst maker, ever!

2) Hoyt gets hotter by the episode. He's right, his haircut is badass.

3) Jason is a disaster. Judging by the title of the ep, I think we're supposed to consider him a beautiful disaster, but he's just a disaster. And yet, even he can upstage Andy and catch a drug dealer. YAY Jason!

4) Tara is a mess. *sigh* But Lafayette remains the coolest cat ever! And his mom is Alfre Woodard! I can't wait to see more of her crazy ass. I totally hope she gets in a brawl with Tara's mom.

5) Eric was in the SS? Where he hunted down werewolves. With Godric. Best part? He's trying like hell to be all supportive and seductive toward Sookie, but he still can't help snapping when she brings up Bill in relation to Godric. "Bill Compton is no Godric!" But he did manage to butter up Sook and worm an invite into her house. As cliffhangers go, though, since we already saw Bill destroy a pack of wolves by himself, it's not too fear inducing to see Eric face off against one.

6) Those wolves? Awesome. Good on Alan Ball for not going for CGI on this one. Werewolves? They use a dog for Sam's shift, so it makes perfect sense to use real wolves. And they're so much cooler than a creature effect.

7) Bill dousing Lorena in flames! Awesome! He tolerated that blood wine, soup and sorbet like a trooper, not to mention the king's pointed queries, but a bitchy maker is just enough, already! Set her on fire in a royal's house!

8) By far, however, the biggest laugh of the episode was Sookie impersonating Bill saying, "Sook-ay!" Well done, Anna, well done!

Buona Dea - Another Draw!

Madone! I know there's been plenty of crying in beers all through New York and New Jersey as the Azzurri only managed to squeak out another draw, this time against New Zealand, and I assume Italians across the pond are ready to shove a vuvuzela up Coach Lippi's ass. I wouldn't say I'm that distraught (though I wouldn't mind destroying a truckload of those stupid horns), but I am now pissed that Alessandro Del Piero and Luca Toni were left off this squad. Yeah, they're older, and Toni didn't perform that well in the 2008 Euro Championships, which probably contributed to the firing of then-coach Donadoni. But Toni IS a great striker, as is Del Piero, and, well, we're really having trouble scoring. Worse, Andrea Pirlo is still out, and Gattuso isn't being played, and Camoranesi only comes in for the second half. Defending has always been the Italians' forte, and even with Buffon out, they're hanging in there. But they made the 78th ranked New Zealand look like a brick wall at the goal. Wave after wave of attack, and they just couldn't break through. New Zealand's keeper DID have a brilliant game, but Italy just couldn't get it done, either. Thursday morning, if they don't scratch out a win against Slovakia, they could kiss their World Cup chances goodbye.

Then again, at least they haven't self-destructed in spectacular and public fashion like France! What a circus they are!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

House Money Reviewed -- The Romance Studio

Also got in a great review for House Money. It's from The Romance Studio and Theresa Joseph had this to say:

"If you are looking for a fast and funny mystery, fuhgedaboudit, this is the one for you. Full of wiseguys, capos and made men this is an entertaining Las Vegas mob mystery. The characters in this story are what made it so enjoyable for me...The story itself was a roller coaster ride, I just didn't know what to expect next!..This is the first book I've read by this author but it definitely won't be the last...This is definitely one I'll find myself rereading and chuckling out loud at all the crazy antics again and again."

I'm telling you, if you want summer reading, I've got you triple covered this year.

Mundania Press -Paperback - $12.95

Mundania E-Book - $4.99

Amazon E-Book - $3.99

I know, I'm insufferable. But the Azzurri play again on Sunday morning, and then Sunday night is more True Blood (and I think the season premier of Entourage), so I'll have other stuff to jabber on about next week.

Shuffle Up - Midwest Book Review

Just got in a new review for Shuffle Up and Deal. This one is from Midwest Book Review, and they say: "Sexy, funny, and attention gripping from first page to last, "Shuffle Up And Deal" is a terrific read."


Bloodthirst -- Quenched

What a great week to be me. The World Cup with all the humming and the hot guys. And also the season premier of True Blood, back for its third season, and they really started off the season running.

First, and obviously most important, I must comment on Alexander Skarsgard. Apparently, the now multiple producers of Blood know what their fans like, and they've decided to give them plenty of it. Our first scene with Eric had him showcasing pretty much everything but his Swedish meatballs. Big props to all involved for keeping fans, uh, satisfied. It wasn't just a quick shot, but a long, full-length camera gaze upon his backside. But even funnier was how played the scene off with Sookie. Eric just kept standing in front of her, naked, obviously thrilled to be showcasing his Viking hardware while she stood there verklempt and flustered.

It was also great to have Jessica back, and the pickle the poor girl has herself in will certainly make Bill put her on an even tighter curfew once he gets himself straightened out. Speaking of Bill, I don't know when it happened, but I now have to admit that I love the lug. Poor bastard, getting kidnapped and drained and then feeding off an old lady but still having the Southern courtesy to erase her memories of it and slip her a few bucks. And he and Sam were high comedy in their hot-n-heavy blood induced dream sequence. That Alan Ball, I'm so glad he didn't pass up that opportunity after setting it up last year. It was possibly the best line of the episode, Bill seductively talking about the shower water was so...hard.

Coming a close second was Andy telling Jason that he had to turn his conscience off and his dick on. But Jason, unable to perform with his PTSD raging out of control. Good thing we had Eric to pick up the slack. Also? Pam! I've really missed Pam. And in one quick instant I even fell in love with Evan Rachel Wood's queen. When she screeched and threatened Eric and jacked him up against a wall with her enormous fangs protruding? Well, that's why it's HBO.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Azzurri Draw

The World Cup kicked off on June 11, but today was the debut for the reigning world champs, Italy's Azzurri. They aren't being given much of a chance by most in the know because for the most part, the team is four years older, and therefore slower. superstar Alessandro Del Piero didn't return, nor did striker Luca Toni. But most of the core team is in tact, including some of my favorites like Rino Gattuso, Andrea Pirlo, Fabio Cannavarro, Mauro Camorenesi, Danielle De Rossi, and, of course, goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon.

It looked like disaster when freaking Paraguay scored on a set piece in the first half of the match after Italy had dominated possession but been unable to score. However, in the second half, they brought in Camorenesi and the Italians scored on a set piece of their own to bring the match to a draw, which is how it concluded.

I think they'll make it through their group and into the semis at least. I have to hope. I mean, this is what we're rooting for here, people!

However, on the truly depressing side, my beloved (and still the world's best) goalkeeper Gigi had to leave the game at halftime with a pulled hamstring. DISASTER! I don't know how bad it is yet, but this could be doom for a couple of reasons. Of course, the Azzurri need Gigi to win. But the thought of not even seeing him on the field? I mean, this what we're talking about here, people!

Forza Azzurri!

Monday, May 31, 2010

Yet more love for Luck

I know, I've been a disgusting self-involved blogger these days, doing nothing but pumping my own book, but I've just been busy with various summer activities (Yay!) and, unfortunatley, this post doesn't end that latest trend. I got a couple more reviews for Lady Luck that I wanted to post (brag) about, so here they are.

Jessica Crooks from Romance Junkies wrote an awesome review about it, which you can read in full right here. Some of the highlights:
"The characters – what a crazy and loveable bunch most of them were. They all came alive to me, even the not so nice ones took on their own personas and became living, breathing people as I read."

But, even better, here's her summation: "LUCKY LADY is one fantastic read." Yay!

And Romantic Times magazine had this to say about it: "It’s impossible not to enjoy it. The borrowed Hamlet plot works on both obvious and subtle levels and is good for a chuckle for anyone with even a passing knowledge of the play (and really, who doesn’t have that?). It’s a fun read, perfect for the beach."

So, there you go. If your summer activities include pool/beach or even any reading time, do consider Lady Luck amply stamped with approval.

Lady Luck at Amazon

Lady Luck in e-book - only $2.50!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Chatting with Donna

My good friend and very talented writer Donna George Storey was generous enough to read my latest book, Shuffle Up and Deal and post a review and interview with me about it on her blog, right here. It's quite insightful and a was a delight for me to read and answer the questions, so I hope you enjoy it, too!

Shuffle Up is now available right here!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

More love for Luck

I just got another great review for Lady Luck. Jessica Crooks for Romance Junkies says, "LUCKY LADY is one fantastic read." Click to read the full review. Yay!

Che Sara Sanremo!

So here's the last of my spring travel tales. WIsely, I arranged my trip to leave Monte-Carlo and go to Italy, because I like Italy, and I figured it'd be a nice place to finish up. Sanremo (or San Remo) was once a fairly well-known party-gambling destination, but the Vegas casino in its honor has been replaced with a Hooters and the craziest days of its namesake might be behind it. Nevertheless, it's still a summertime hot spot. Upon arriving in San Remo, I took a stroll and was happy as soon as I passed these places on the street. Strip clubs. I don't really care to go in and spend Euros on strippers, but it was a sure sign I was away from the stuffy, overly-swank city of Monte-Carlo, and the seediness made me feel more at home.

Also symbolic of the less grandiose 'tude was the more low-key green card needed for gaming in the casino, as opposed to the hoity-toity gold. I like green anyhow, as it reminds me of American money.

The San Remo casino was more casual than Monte-Carlo, though a White House State Dinner is probably less formal than that place, and it was also larger than the Cannes ones. They were hosting a big poker tournament while I was there, which was pretty cool, too, though I briefly wished I'd brought along my poker book instead of Lady Luck. But then once the gambling commenced, I was glad I brought Lady Luck with me. YAY to being in Italy again!

I stayed at the Royal Hotel, and it was a nice enough place, though, again, 5 stars for a European hotel is comparable to about a 4 star American one. The bar was tiny, which was sad for me, but I had an outrageously huge patio overlooking the pool and the Mediterranean, and there's certainly nothing to complain about that view.

The pool was another salt water pool. These are becoming increasingly vogue, I guess. Pfft. But it was also really fun to swim in as it was deep and landscaped (waterscaped?) with underwater caves to swim through and lots of intersting stuff like that. Lady Luck preferred to simply sun herself and enjoy the view while I frolicked. And though the pool attendants were devastatingly handsome, the menu was sort of crap, so I didn't have to worry about hiding my treasured Monte-Carlo condoms from her. Though, given the gorgeousness of the Italian guys all around, I had to remind myself to keep those souvenirs tucked safely away.

And that concluded my Mediterranean tour. I was happy and felt very fortunate to have been able to see that part of the world. And though Italy was fun and pleasant enough, and the whole area was tremendously beautiful, I left with a strong feeling almost like a lover who cheated and was horribly disappointed. It was the Cote d'Azur alright. But, for me, it just wasn't Vegas. Call me a degenerate, but I still prefer to party like I was doped up with "roofinol," and Vegas is the only place that not only tolerates, but encourages that sort of behavior. So I'll be tucking my passport away for a while. Culture Schmulture. Vegas, Baby!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Monte-Carlo. Monte-freaking-Carlo.

So this is it. The grandest, swankiest casino in the world. Monte-Carlo, baby!

Same as with Cannes, I chose my hotel based on proximity. If you know me, you know there's not much that I love more than getting shitfaced drunk, gambling, and then stumbling back to my room.
The Casino Monte-Carlo is a stand alone building, but right next to it is the Hotel de Paris, so that's where I picked. Fancy. Grand old hotel tradition fancy, both inside and out, and especially in attitude, as, I was to learn, was the rest of Monaco.
(translation: oh, they just loved me.)

Here's the ornate lobby. Fancy, right? The whole time that I was planning this trip, I kept thinking to myself, "I can't believe I'm going to Monte-Carlo."
And when I got there, I was like "I can't believe I'm actually in Monte-Carlo!" And then, well, let me tell you, they couldn't believe I was there, either.

Never before in my life had I felt so...trepidatious, suddenly. I've gambled, and I've gambled a lot, and I've gambled with high rollers. But this place is different. So instead of rushing directly to the casino, I figured I'd get my bearings and chill at the pool. It's a nice one, but it's also a seawater pool. It's novel and fun at first, but after about ten laps, it started making me sick so I had to give up and just paddle around a bit. This was the inauspicious start to a trend that would continue throughout the rest of the trip.

But, once I'd had my fill in the pool, I went to the solarium, where my book assured me that she would act as she was named and bring me lady luck in the casino. So we enjoyed the view for a while before heading out.

Alright, so here's how it works in Monte-Carlo. There's a corporation called SBM that operates a bunch of the hotels and casinos. (Yes, there are other casinos besides the famous one.) And if you stay at one of those hotels, they give you a "Carte d'Or" which you can take around and use in all the places. So, my book got decked out in its most fancy attire (you may recall these from last year's Italy trip) and grabbed its gold card and its guts and it was off.

And off we went. I won't lie to you. It was fast, it was ugly. There will be no joyous pictures of my book hauling money out of there. Instead, through some strange alchemy, my Carte d'Or turned to coal as Lady Luck didn't just abandon me, I think she ran screaming away. Sickening, really.
If you want a little more detail about the ambience, here's the best I can tell you. Fancy. Fancy and reserved. I was intimidated, not just by the reverence of the legend of the place, but by the actual ambience.

But I'm not one to be kept down by a twist of bad luck. There's plenty more to enjoy in Monte-Carlo, being the bustling metropolis it is. (seriously, it is a BIG city, we think of Monaco as small, and it is, but the city of Monte-Carlo is formidable)
One of the cool things? The food! Within spitting distance of the casino is both Joel Robuchon's restaurant and Alain Ducasse's, 2 and 3 Michelin stars, respectively. So, being the smart-ass that I am, I had lunch at Robuchon's and dinner at Ducasse's.
At Robuchon's, I had all the French shit, man. Caviar, black truffles, and oh yeah, foie gras! It was awesome! Then, at Ducasse's, the menu was all in French, and I'm not so hot on French, so I didn't even know what the hell I was eating half the time, but, fortunately, it was delicious!
Unfortunately, it mixed even worse with me than the stupid seawater pool and the alchemy got worse and that foie gras turned into something you don't even want me to describe.

At this point, I was pretty sick of being sick and I just wanted to collect my shit back into one, cohesive, dumbass American pile and move along. But, you know, you can't go somewhere like Monte-Carlo and not take some souvenirs. I was weary, and luckily, right in my hotel room, they had an assortment of stuff that you could take. Unfortunately, I was also pretty broke by this time. So I perused the price list looking for cheap stuff and that's when I saw it.
In this place, this paragon of class and dignity, I found a rather unusual offering from the minibar. Condoms. And they were the cheapest thing on the list!

So I packed and giggled about this, and then, when I was done showering and getting dressed, I stumbled upon this sordid scene in the bedroom.
That's right, Lady Luck was getting lucky! Getting her freak on with the room service menu, irresponsibly (or, well, responsibly, actually) using up my cheap souvenirs!

Seriously, though, Monte-Carlo is a very special place. And every single person there will be certain to tell you that at every turn. (Also seriously. The city is special, the people are extremely special, and they just love talking about how
fucking special they all are. Gag.) I know I'm kind of slagging the place here,
but I do feel extremely lucky to have visited. It just was...well, it was Monte-Carlo. As a gambler, I had to check it out. But even though I strayed, my deep love affair with Vegas continues. And I don't think I'll ever stray again.

I did visit the other casinos while I was there, but, much like Cannes, they were small, sad, pathetic affairs. One of them was all red. I mean, red. And one was blue. It was...disturbing. So when I left Monte-Carlo I crossed over into Italy and visited San Remo, also on the Mediterranean, and also with a casino.