Thursday, May 11, 2006

I'm still laughing today about it!

So. Seriously. I am happier about Elliott being in the top 3 than Chris being sent home. Last night was a good show for results night, and the last 3 minutes made some of the best television (barring Sopranos) of the year.

It started off innocuously enough: Recap, Ford commercial, and then some tape of the kids at Graceland. The cameraman tried to not move in too close on Priscilla, but even with Cybil Shepherd filter-lens, there was no escaping the weirdness of her face. I don't know if she has the same bad surgeon as Kenny Rogers, or if she possibly has the same embalmer as her late husband, but it was bad, man. Once that was over, the kids did the group sing, which was a medley of Elvis songs. Elliott, of course, sounded the best as he kicked it off with "Don't Be Cruel," and even when he jumped his cue later in the song it was just adorable.

At one point in the program, we got treated to seeing Paula sit on Simon's lap - an interesting choice that brought about lap dance connotations, especially after Ryan setting it up last night with his stripper comment. We got to see Rebecca Romijn be used like a pawn when she requested Taylor do an encore of "Jailhouse Rock" for her. Taylor, he jumped up and obliged, and though it wasn't quite as good as it was on performance night, partly because he again showed his affinity for ill-fitting shirts, it was entertaining enough. At first I thought they were just giving Taylor some pimpage that he hadn't had in a while, but once the results came tumbling down I realized they were playing at something a bit more manipulative. I don't care.

Last night proved just how good the payoff for manipulation is when Mr. Daughtry got sent packing.

I have to say, I truly believe he was shocked, because I don't think he's that good of an actor. You see the photos down there, and they say it all on their own, but I can't resist mentioning a couple of things.

It started with Ryan dividing them into pairs: the top two and the bottom two. This is when Chris started his deep inhaling exercises, which would continue for the next couple of minutes. I don't think he ever expected to go home, but it was a chop to his ego to even consider being in the bottom two. It was interesting, those few seconds, because I think everyone has the gist now that if you're standing next to Taylor, you're safe. However, the twist was that it's also become pretty obvious that if you're standing next to Elliott, you're really not safe. Plus, with Katharine's suck out last night, I think Chris realized he was possibly bottom two. However, at that point, I think he was mainly annoyed at being in the bottom two, but nowhere did his fame-whoring ego guess that he'd be going home.

Also, Katharine's laser-eyed, bitch face was solidly in place for the entire process. I know it's not easy enduring this shit, but you'd think that after 9 weeks she'd get some sort of handle on her facial expressions, especially considering that she hopes to pursue a career in acting. But she hasn't. Her inner-bitch rages at the slightest provocation.

Taylor, he's usually rather reserved when he's announced safe. But he celebrated last night, and I think it was because he was next to Elliott. I mean, Elliott's kind of the black widow of results night. He's in the bottom most of the time, but he's never the one leaving. And, Taylor lacks the "invincible me" ego that would've let him feel more comfortable.

After some more deep breathing from Chris, Ryan toys with Chris and Katharine only in a minimal way. Probably for two reasons: Taylor's encore ate up plenty of the spotlight time, and also because, I think once in a great while, Ryan enjoys telling someone that they're leaving. I believe this was one such instance. He didn't pad it or soften it. If anything, he stuck the knife in fairly abruptly.

That brings us to The Look. At this exact moment is when Chris's yolk-brain gets completely scrambled.

Katharine is shocked, yes. But Chris is completely blindsided. And he looks PISSED. He is FRYING over it. Frying just like the egghead he is.

Paula, of course, does her despondent head hang. Simon, he contemplates, but he's fairly inscrutable as always.

After that, we get a little more deep breathing on Chris's part, and then as his "Bad Day" montage rolls, he continues to simmer in his own raging ego.

Remember how I said it's been disappointing that lately everyone's handled it so well and with so much class and grace? Chris didn't handle it well. Chris didn't lose his shit completely, but he didn't do anything to make me say, "Oh, I feel bad now." He just glared and glared at the screen, half hypnotized by his own self-love, and half still pissed off.

Last but not least, even though his sing out got cut off, but we did get one last encore from his wallet chain!

Next week, we get THREE songs from everyone. This is great news for Taylor and Elliott, and bad news for Katharine. If history repeats, the contestants pick one song, the judges pick one song for them, and then Clive picks a song for them.

It'll be interesting to see how the press shakes out this week, because it's very apparent that Elliott was the whipping-boy, manipulated image last week with their discounting him everywhere to build his "underdog" image. It may not have been "nice" on AI's part, but it did make his victory that much sweeter. Also, though he handles himself with class, it was apparent that he'd noticed it had gone on when during the performance show Simon remarked, "you're the underdog" and Elliott did his famous eyebrow cock in response. His look was brief, but it clearly said, "No shit fucker, and you're the one who put me in that position."

But he's weathered the trips to the bottom very well, and he seems to stay focused on his performances no matter what they throw at him. This week, they all get to go visit home. That means that Katharine goes up the block. I'm interested to see Taylor's reception. But I'm thinking Richmond is going to pull all the stops for Elliott and treat him like royalty. Fucking good! They jumped on the bandwagon a bit late for him, but the past few weeks they've really gone apeshit as he's progressed. They'll throw a parade. Elliott will cry. It'll be very endearing. You know, it'll make for good TV.


Myfanwy Collins said...

Damn, you are GOOD! Did you hear when he actually SAID, "I'm in shock" to Ryan? Coulnd't believe that! I think it's so especially sweet because Elliott and Taylor really, really deserved to be the top two vote getters.

Also, there was that disturbing hubris Chris exhibited the night before talking about his legions of fans.

SusanD said...

Myfanwy -- "Also, there was that disturbing hubris Chris exhibited the night before talking about his legions of fans"

BINGO!! That didn't play well AT ALL for him. For some reason, when Taylor shouts "Soul Patrol!" and even applauds for himself it's just -- fun. It WORKS for him and I don't get that "ego" vibe from him. When Elliott mentioned "Yaminions", it was like, "you go, E! people love you!" But when Kat stood there the other night after she sang and pleadingly name-checked her fans, it was tacky. And Chris was just so icky about it. There are so MANY, he said. I guess not as many as you needed, buddy! Or else they didn't love you enough to spring for the fucking Cingular texting plan!

He did say he was in shock, didn't he? Oh Chris. I'm almost curious to see how he does on the talk show circuit this week.

Cath said...

Coming out of lurkdom to say the first thing I did this morning at work was log on to see what you had to say, Susan! Great as usual.

And I'm so excited for next week and getting three songs from Elliott and seeing his homecoming!

SusanD said...

Aw, thanks, Cath!

His homecoming is by far going to be the best one.

Alice Brooks said...

Wonderful as usual, Susan. This one made me laugh out loud when I got to the "underdog" part! So true. You have entertained me so much this season. I think I'm headed over to Amazon to buy your books!

trudi said...

Last week when Paris went I knew Elliot would make it into the top three because the Paris fans, who were still inclined to vote, would have to go in his direction. Soul talent to soul talent. Little did I know he would pull down two mighty-mighty sets and make it into the top two. Kat is out next week due to Chris fan backlash. And Taylor's seeming invincibility isn't as air tight as it once was. Dialidol showed them in a virtual tie. Elliot has the ability to continues adding to his fan base. He is nipping at Taylor's heels. In the next 2 weeks he needs to gnaw off a big chunk. He can do it. Yes he can.

meep said...

Last week - text messaging plan.

This week - upgrading to a newer phone for ease of repeat texting.

I've sold my soul, but when I saw that photo of Elliott, with hands clasped at his heart, and Taylor, dropping to his knees next to him, I knew the price was right.

If Elliott does this thing, Cingular can have my first born.

Anonymous said...

You are simply "da bomb!" I couldn't wait to get here and read your comments.

Last night. Chris couldn't have been more shocked if he were hit head on by a mack truck. He really thought he was untouchable, I think. Something about him always rubbed me the wrong way. May be a nice guy, and all, but the ego is gargantuan. Someone else's is too and I hope they're on the chopping block next.

I was a happy puppy that E is going on!!

cousin bernice said...

Brilliant post as usual, Susan! I am gonna LOVE seeing Elliott's hometown visit next week. That boy deserves it.

dennis mahagin said...


I believe Chris D. sealed his fate when he butchered that Shine Down tune a couple weeks ago.

As Simon would say-- that song was too big for him.

Back to the drawing board, thar meester Daughtry. I mean, Drawing Mirror! ;)

Anonymous said...

I can't believe I just discovered this blog! Your writing is simply brilliant. To the archives I go...

SusanD said...

Alice -- thanks! But don't do that. If you're interested, I'd be happy to send you copies. Just drop me an e-mail (susandiplacido @

Trudi -- oh man, I hope you're right (and think you are) about the potential for Elliott to keep getting voters.

Meep -- keep listening to that baby-making voice of E's and it won't be long before you're havign that first born for Cingular to take ;)

anon and anon-- thanks :)

cousin bernice -- I know, Im loving the hometown visit idea.

Dennis -- I hadn't thought of that, that song from before, and you've got a good point. This year does have a "lag" effect for things to materialize in the voting. I'm just so glad it did happen! Thanks for stopping by.

Anonymous said...

Hey Susan have you read any of Chri's Exit interviews with MTV and EW.... what's your take on it....

"Iwasn't the pick to go home. I've been the pick to win. I'm not trying to sound overconfident. But everyone had been telling me...even the judges said it was going to be a Chris-and-Taylor finale. You try not to buy into that, but when you hear it so much you think, 'Maybe they're right. Maybe I do have a good shot.' My hopes were up. I was starting to see there's an opportunity to win this thing. And then to have that happen was gut-wrenching."

Smithy said...

Hey Susan..
I love reading your blog! One of the main reason is cos I love Elliott...and you're funny...:D

I used to like Chris...but then he became boring...If I want to hear another rocker, I would have turn on the radio..

I was shocked with his elimination yesterday...but then after reading his interview in People and Entertainment Weekly, God..can this guy be anymore arrogant?! He really did believed in his own hype..Try some humility next time, Buddy...

Just wanted to know your opinion about his exit interview...

katrina said...

I look forward to your comments every week. It's become part of the viewing experience for me. :)

I LOVE your recaps!

SusanD said...

Hey Anon and Smithy -- thanks so much for reminding me to check out the interviews. Imagine the fun I'd have missed out on if I hadn't read those!

Katrina -- thank you so much!

Jeff Landon said...

Hey Susan,
Myf is loving your blog, so she sent me here, and, hey, I live in Richmond, and, guess what? They ARE throwing a parade for Elliot today. Kids are getting out of school. He's on all the TV and radio shows, and tonight he's going to work the crowd before a baseball game, which is sold out. But he won't be throwing out the first ball, and that's good, because I'm thinking he probably doesn't have a great arm.

My wife heard him sing downtown, and came home with a T-shirt. I actually prefer Taylor, but my home pride is, at last, kicking in.

SusanD said...

Jeff, thanks for the update! So cool he's got a parade!

And now out comes my shrieking fangirl -- I am so jealous of your wife!