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Here was the most delightful part of Idol last night:


That's right. Some of the alumni, like Constantine, just never really go away. He was there to remind us how good old-fashioned camera fucking should look.

The least delightful part of Idol last night was everything else. While heavily scathing Chris Richardson for his performance, Simon said it was "completely and utterly insignificant." Which pretty much sums up this entire season, now doesn't it? Though it was funny that Simon told Chris his singing was nasally and Richardson had the unmitigated stupidity to respond that "nasally is a form of singing." Uh huh. And mimes are a form of entertainment. It doesn't mean they're particularly good or accepted. Though at this point, Chris probably would be more appealing as a mime. Because let's face it -- as bad as Sanjaya was/is/shall be, his voice isn't obnoxiously grating like Chris's is.

As for Sanjaya, he did his thing in a 'do rag and sang and Simon got his hackles up and really tore into him. I suspect the ire he showed last night wasn't a form of manipulation but his honest annoyance creeping through. Because although he should be smart enough to not really care about the outcome as long as he's making money at it, I think he's also got a wicked ego streak. I think he tried to brush off the Sanjaya-Stern thing for several weeks and act as though it didn't faze him but that it is eating away at him. I think there's a part of him that does take this whole show seriously and that he likes to feel self-important about it so he felt obliged to lecture not only Sanjaya, but also the audience, reminding them that this show is ultimately about picking the best.

I haven't checked the VFTW boards, but that sort of "I'm so disappointed in you all" speech probably sent them all into cackling fits of glee and made everyone dial even harder and longer. I know it nearly motivated me to pick up the phone and call, but by the time the show was over all glee and energy had been successfully drained from me.

What else? I didn't see Phil perform because I was busy doing something else, probably equally lame, but that just goes to show you were I am with this whole thing.

I admit I'm not a country fan, and what little "country" I listen to is Patsy Cline or Johnny Cash or Ray Charles. And country night generally blows anyhow, and I've rarely heard any of the songs before. Last night, I hadn't heard any of them. So I had no comparison for Jordin's version of "A Broken Wing," but she gave it plenty of welly. (<-- too much Dancing WTS influence.) And, clearly, they're now pimping her hard to be the winner, and that seems about right.

LaKisha was a suckfest singing what I guess is Carrie Underwood's song. Melinda was alright doing some "sassy" song about a woman being trouble when she wants to get laid. But the noteworthy part of her performance was her strange outfit that made her already formidable boobs look absolutely fucking enormous. And Simon's heard enough of the backlash about her "surprised" face that he's now actually told her to drop that routine. Good move.

Blake went last and yeah he can sing and yeah it was alright because it wasn't country at all and he did his thing, dawg. He certainly does have his niche. Everything he sings sounds just like it would've been featured at a late '80s prom or in an Adam Sandler movie.

Thanks to Ellen Meister, I paid attention to who was standing next to Ryan as the show closed, because she astutely pointed out that when there are a few people in jeopardy, the one who ends up close to Ryan at the end of the show inevitably stays. Well, Chris Richardson was cuddled close, so I'd assume it's time for Phil to go.