Wednesday, April 18, 2007


Here was the most delightful part of Idol last night:

That's right. Some of the alumni, like Constantine, just never really go away. He was there to remind us how good old-fashioned camera fucking should look.

The least delightful part of Idol last night was everything else. While heavily scathing Chris Richardson for his performance, Simon said it was "completely and utterly insignificant." Which pretty much sums up this entire season, now doesn't it? Though it was funny that Simon told Chris his singing was nasally and Richardson had the unmitigated stupidity to respond that "nasally is a form of singing." Uh huh. And mimes are a form of entertainment. It doesn't mean they're particularly good or accepted. Though at this point, Chris probably would be more appealing as a mime. Because let's face it -- as bad as Sanjaya was/is/shall be, his voice isn't obnoxiously grating like Chris's is.

As for Sanjaya, he did his thing in a 'do rag and sang and Simon got his hackles up and really tore into him. I suspect the ire he showed last night wasn't a form of manipulation but his honest annoyance creeping through. Because although he should be smart enough to not really care about the outcome as long as he's making money at it, I think he's also got a wicked ego streak. I think he tried to brush off the Sanjaya-Stern thing for several weeks and act as though it didn't faze him but that it is eating away at him. I think there's a part of him that does take this whole show seriously and that he likes to feel self-important about it so he felt obliged to lecture not only Sanjaya, but also the audience, reminding them that this show is ultimately about picking the best.

I haven't checked the VFTW boards, but that sort of "I'm so disappointed in you all" speech probably sent them all into cackling fits of glee and made everyone dial even harder and longer. I know it nearly motivated me to pick up the phone and call, but by the time the show was over all glee and energy had been successfully drained from me.

What else? I didn't see Phil perform because I was busy doing something else, probably equally lame, but that just goes to show you were I am with this whole thing.

I admit I'm not a country fan, and what little "country" I listen to is Patsy Cline or Johnny Cash or Ray Charles. And country night generally blows anyhow, and I've rarely heard any of the songs before. Last night, I hadn't heard any of them. So I had no comparison for Jordin's version of "A Broken Wing," but she gave it plenty of welly. (<-- too much Dancing WTS influence.) And, clearly, they're now pimping her hard to be the winner, and that seems about right.

LaKisha was a suckfest singing what I guess is Carrie Underwood's song. Melinda was alright doing some "sassy" song about a woman being trouble when she wants to get laid. But the noteworthy part of her performance was her strange outfit that made her already formidable boobs look absolutely fucking enormous. And Simon's heard enough of the backlash about her "surprised" face that he's now actually told her to drop that routine. Good move.

Blake went last and yeah he can sing and yeah it was alright because it wasn't country at all and he did his thing, dawg. He certainly does have his niche. Everything he sings sounds just like it would've been featured at a late '80s prom or in an Adam Sandler movie.

Thanks to Ellen Meister, I paid attention to who was standing next to Ryan as the show closed, because she astutely pointed out that when there are a few people in jeopardy, the one who ends up close to Ryan at the end of the show inevitably stays. Well, Chris Richardson was cuddled close, so I'd assume it's time for Phil to go.


Anonymous said...

IMO, Phil was the best last night.

Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

I'm not supposed to be reading blogs at all this week (artist's way, yadda yadda), but I allow myself this one jewel becasue it always makes me happy.

There are so many things I want to say in response. I loved watching Simon get his man-tits in a twist. He was REALLY miffed! Not stage-angry, but truly angry, and that also made me want to vote for Sanjaya. I actually thought Phil sounded good as a country singer, though, and Chris--ah...I really don't think he's much of a singer.

What you said about Blake I thought almost to the word last night! 80s! Prom!

Don Capone said...

I think Jordin won the competition last night. She gets better and better every week, her voice is great, she's young and beautiful, she's likeable. She is the American Idol. Lakisha gets worse every week, and doesn't even look like she cares anymore. Melinda has a great voice, but I think she is too old-fashioned.

Jean White said...

I miss Mc Phee! Remember her looks of petulant annoyance when she thought the camera was off her? We didn't know when we had it good. People are too buttoned down this season.

Kiki is as impenatrable as an Easter Island statue. Melinda's social guard never falls. Her voice is good but I never feel like she lets me inside. We need some evil this season!

Alice said...

Jordin bringing the welly. Waal, Soozan, that was brilliant! Love it! What a snore this year is.

Ellen said...

ACK!!!!!! That picture of Constantine is so CREEEEEEEEPY! Make it go away!

You really think Phil will go tonight? The judges were slobbering all over him. I think they REALLY want this to be Sanjaya's night to leave. So perhaps he will--hard for me to tell just how much they can manipulate the vote. At this point I can't read it. Until that last shot, I thought Chris was a goner for sure. Remains to be seen if that face time can save him...

TSS said...

I thought Chris was a goner, too. Usually when you backtalk Simon like that, America shows you the door. Not that I'm upset Sanjaya is gone, mind you.

I cannot STAND Jordin and her constant mugging and winking at the camera. It's so phony but judging from most of the comments, I'm the only one who doesn't like her.

Susan - I think you are hilarious. I found your blog while googling for people who didn't like Chris Daughtry (I felt outnumbered on that one, too.) When you compared Chris Daughtry's stomping to an injured Clydesdale, I knew this blog was a keeper.

SusanD said...

Anon -- now I'm sorry I missed Phil. Okay, no I'm not.

Jordan-- we missed our shot. We should've voted. Now Simon got his way and he was so smug happy about it.

Don, TSS -- I agree with you, Don, that Jordin is the probable winner. But I'm also with TSS quite a bit. I do think Jordin is beautiful, and I do understand that she's only 17, so her "bubbly" act is understandable. But I like it less every week. She bugs. But I like her a lot more than LaKisha because at least she shows some personality.

Jean -- I couldn't agree with you more. We have a dearth of assholes this season and it's making it suck. It's all just so mediocre.

Alice -- Bruno Tonioli would vastly improve this show.

Ellen - there's really nothing as skeevy as Connie, is there? And you were so right on about your next-to-Ryan theory!