The Last Drop

Well. Shit. Summer really is coming to an end. Though this weak season of Entourage limps along without any clear purpose, I'll gladly keep watching to see what dumb shit Drama does next. But Hung called it a wrap last night, and it wasn't quick enough for me. Just, I just didn't hang in there with this show. I watched, and disliked it more with each passing week, with the major exception of Jane Adams. But Sunday was, most notably, the season finale of True Blood. Naturally, this is how I feel about it all being over until next summer.


I am perhaps the only one, but I loved the episode. A couple observations:

Along with knowing that the "third waitress at Merlotte's" is a fatal job, future Bon Temps denizens should also be armed with this nugget of knowledge. If you are black, and if the season is hurtling to an end, you should not, under any circumstances, be caught in Merlotte's parking lot. Most specifically, you should not be near Andy Bellefleur's car in Merlotte's parking lot if there is less than 10 minutes to go in the season. If you are out in the parking lot of Merlotte's at this witching hour, and particularly if you are a person of color, you can kiss your ass goodbye. Pray for syndication, cause that's the only way you'll be seen again on this show.

That said, I was glad to see Eggs get whacked, because I'd come to loathe Eggs. The actor who plays him, Mehcad Brooks, is incredibly pretty, but that's about it. In fact, he's quite the mimbo, without much personality or appeal other than this abs. I wish him well, but I'm glad he's gone from my screen.

In stark contrast is Michelle Forbes. She rocked Maryann so hard and was mesmerizing at times.


And yet, still not sad to see her go. It wasn't just the cathartic "evil vanquished" kind of happiness at seeing her gored, either. That plot ran way too long and really tried my patience, so, though I'm loathe to lose Forbes, I was thrilled to see Maryann messing with the bull and ending up getting the horns. One observation on that, though, and I only make it because the show has made this point, on a few occasions: Sam MUST get an imprint of an animal to be able to shift into it. Exactly WHERE in his travels did he come across an albino bull before, huh?


That was a little bit silly, but if not for that quibble, it was clever, and I was really glad to see Sam being the one to stick it to the vibrating bitch! And Sam Trammell again delivered with a kickass performance.

But let's rewind just a bit. Sookie's house, this week, took another startling turn. It'd gone from Blair Witch Frat Party to Rob Zombie movie set, and this week it looked like they'd soon be filming "Land of the Lost." Fuuuhcked Up! And I love that Sookie just shrugs and says, "We'll clean everything the monster touched." Um. Sook? There are VINES growing out your walls, this is beyond the capabilities of a Swiffer, baby. Also? How did Sookie contain herself when she spotted Maryann in Gran's wedding dress? Sookie went absolutely batshit last year on Maxine Fortenberry over "GRAN'S PIE!" And yet this episode she wasn't peeved enough about the dress to let the sparks fly out of her hands at Maryann? Lafayette actually owned the bridesmaid reveal scenes a couple of times, first with his tiny clap at the announcement, and then by being dressed as a bridesmaid! I love Laff so, and am so glad he survived the season.


Someone else I love who survived? Eric. Though he was barely in the episode, I have to say that thanks to him, I give new consideration to Evan Rachel Wood's queen. She was threatening this episode. And playful. And I dug her. Maybe it really was just Bill dragging her down! She scored a Yahtzee for sure, though this week.


Best couple of the whole season? Jason and Andy.


And Andy inspired the best line of the night, coming from Sheriff Dearborn: "You've got a lot of faults, Andy. But at least you've got pants on." And I just love Chris Bauer's voice and delivery. He's a funny fuck, alright. Not to mention him publicly calling out Jane Bodehouse about seeing her taking it from behind by Mike Spencer! That was hilarious! Other post-zombie revelry gone bad? I love that Lafayette doesn't even question how he's dressed, he just questions how the fuck he got there. Another tiny detail that I loved? Scrambled Terry's shirt, announcing his brain scrambledness. And Arlene's kids being just a wee bit more precocious than she knows. And they love Eric!

I also love that they polished off this season and then transitioned right into next season. I mean, I see no downside at all to having Bill dragged off in silver chains! YAY to kidnapped Bill!


But before the kidnapping, Bill did show a glimmer of hope when he took Sook to the fancy dinner, and for the dancing portion, instead of a stuffy waltz that I'd expected him to bust out, he got groovy with a... was that a hustle? (All those seasons of DWTS and I still can't tell, but I know it wasn't a pasodoble.) There was, in that one, brief scene, a delicious and terribly sexy, playful vibe from both Bill and Sookie, enough so that I was actually like, "Yeah! That's why they're a couple!" Something about this, however, also made me picture Bill in the late '80s, at a Gilley's knock-off, taking line dancing classes.


On the Bad Bill side, he continues to be, and I quote Jessica here, The Worst Maker Ever! I know he's been busy, but he's really blown off Jessica these past couple weeks and she is all sorts of fucked up, and instead of stopping and talking to her, he waltzes (two-steps) off to his fancy dinner with Sookie. I feel bad for Jessica.

And I feel bad for Jason. I've come to absolutely adore Jason this year. And his poor feeble mind is not gonna handle this whole "cracking eggs wide open" thing well. Oh the irony, huh? Andy used to dog Jason and accuse him of being a murderer. Now Jason does kill someone, and Andy covers it up for him. Oh, that Andy.

I also feel bad for Tara, and particularly bad for us, the viewers. I miss our bad-ass Tara of the past, and I'm worried that this whole Eggs thing is just gonna wonk her worse for next season. She needs to take lessons in resiliency from Sookie. Sitting and crying one minute as all the stress of the season catches up to her. And then, a quick trip to the loo, a glance in the mirror -- and at her shiny new diamond -- not shocking that a Stackhouse can be totally fascinated by shiny objects! -- and suddenly Sookie is right as rain again, ready to marry Bill!


But oh yeah, Bill's been kidnapped! Dragged off in silver chains! Around his neck! Did I mention that already?

I'm sure some will assume it's Eric behind the 'napping, but my money is on Lorena, but I'm not sure. But I do know this -- the Blood will flow again next summer! But until then, this season was good to the last bloody drop!

Pics this week from phoenixothon.