Monday, September 17, 2007

Best of TV? Really?

The Sopranos and Piven win. YAY! Jimmy G and Entourage get screwed. Boo. Tony Bennett has a golden statue. (<-- of course I'm talking about his extremely young, blonde wife which got prominently displayed last night.) But he also won an Emmy. Ahem.

Here's what I found noteworthy about the Emmy awards. The young chicks decided to go tasteful this year and for the most part kept their cleavage inside their couture. The old broads, however, decided to showcase their dented, rented D cups. Jolie Fisher and Patricia Heaton looked particularly tacky.

Word of advice, women. If your ladies look like they should be on the damaged isle next to a crunched can of peas, there ain't enough mystic tan and makeup to make those bumps and indents seem attractive. If you want fake tits, have at it. But when the fake tits get bunched and botched, it's time to have some of that overpriced Calvin Klein sequined material covering them. You're old. You've got big fake tits. Congrats, you broads of b-rate comedy! You've just discovered the ego-equivalent to a 55 year old suburban male with a small pecker who drives his Corvette in November. Or to an 80 year old crooner being married to a young trophy blonde.

1 comment:

Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

First of all, thank you for the post above! You do truly rock.

But on to more important subjects: saggy cleavage. I have to say I thought the same thing! Even Marcia Cross. I personally think all of 'em should stay covered, no matter how perky. How many breasts must I sit through in an awards show?