Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Trick or Treat

On my way into work this morning, they were doing a thing on the radio, talking about how Halloween costumes can speak to a person's personality. For example, if someone routinely dresses up as fairy tale characters, it means they have an optimistic streak and think things will work out eventually. (Naive fools!) Whereas if someone dresses up as an evil character from the aforementioned fairy tales, they're showing off their naughty side. If they dress up like a sexbomb, they're ready to be a little less sexually inhibited. (And here I thought whore attire for Halloween had simply become pretty much mandatory for anyone over 18 who still dresses up. No tits, no treats.)

Then they started blathering on about different couple outfits and what sort of relationship the couple has, and that's when I turned it off because I don't care about happy couples, and I especially don't care about ones who dress in tandem for Halloween. (There just aren't enough bite-size Snickers to mask my deep-seated bitterness.) So I didn't hear what deep psychological problem it speaks to if you repeatedly dress as a serial killer or monster for Halloween.

But I did a quick mental recap of my past "adult" costumes, and here are some I recall. See if you can spot a trend:


Liza Minnelli

Blanche DuBois

Zelda Fitzgerald

Cruella DeVille

Yeah. In case you're still not getting it, my main accessory was generally something similar to this:

So on Halloween, instead of indulging in deep-seated fantasies, I tend to live out my everyday life, only with more extravagant clothing, and sometimes a cigarette holder. Cin-cin! The moral of this story? Smirnoff trumps Snickers.

What sort of profile would your costumes over the years create?


Myfanwy Collins said...

Zelda Fitzgerald! What an excellent idea!

Sadly, I am not into costumes. Well, not really "sadly". I think I am traumatized by this time in grad school when me and this other woman dressed up as Wayne and Garth. I was a bit too convincing as Garth and it depressed me. Not to mention that a man dressed as Andy Warhol cornered me to talk about how we were wearing the same wig.

I was not wearing a wig.

SusanD said...

Ha ha! Oh, Myfanwy! You're so funny, and such a great sport. I'm not worthy.

Don Capone said...

Just give up going as women who drink and just go as a martini next time, Susan! If I have to wear a costume, I usually go as Bart Simpson. What does that say about me, man?

laura petrie said...

And Grey Goose trumps everything.

Favorite Halloween costumes (as an adult):
Lovey Howell
Carmen Miranda

Still pondering what the hell those say about me.

SusanD said...

I would love to go as a martini, Don. But a costume of that caliber would demand design and engineering that are beyond the faculties of a boozehound. What does Bart Simpson say about you? Uh, that you're naturally jaundiced? No. That you love Butterfingers? Probably not. That you're a wiseass? That's true, but I'm not sure that's it. That it's the one thing you have onhand to be able to go at a minute's notice? Bingo.

Laura Petrie! Lovey Howell and Carmen Miranda? Both great dames in their own right. They fit you.

NormalGuyNormalGirl said...

My problem (as I explained carefully to Keryn -- this is our first halloween together since we were in grade school) is that I'm kind of lazy at Halloween and don't care for makeup. This has proven terribly limiting throughout my past.

This year I threw on my tuxedo and bought some cheesy bling at a costume store (also a cardboard fedora) and a loud $9.99 tie from Marshall's. The results weren't too bad... How plausible a gangster am I?

Julie said...

Woah, I've never thought about a pattern in Halloween costumes. yours all have an over-the-top tragic/comic link. I agree about the cutesy couple costumes. EW! You got me thinking - most of my past costumes are vintage of different eras or just undefinable - weird wigs and clothes. I miss Halloween.

Cheers, Susan!

SusanD said...

Jason, you looked great! Both of you did!

Julie -- hello!