Trick or Treat

On my way into work this morning, they were doing a thing on the radio, talking about how Halloween costumes can speak to a person's personality. For example, if someone routinely dresses up as fairy tale characters, it means they have an optimistic streak and think things will work out eventually. (Naive fools!) Whereas if someone dresses up as an evil character from the aforementioned fairy tales, they're showing off their naughty side. If they dress up like a sexbomb, they're ready to be a little less sexually inhibited. (And here I thought whore attire for Halloween had simply become pretty much mandatory for anyone over 18 who still dresses up. No tits, no treats.)

Then they started blathering on about different couple outfits and what sort of relationship the couple has, and that's when I turned it off because I don't care about happy couples, and I especially don't care about ones who dress in tandem for Halloween. (There just aren't enough bite-size Snickers to mask my deep-seated bitterness.) So I didn't hear what deep psychological problem it speaks to if you repeatedly dress as a serial killer or monster for Halloween.

But I did a quick mental recap of my past "adult" costumes, and here are some I recall. See if you can spot a trend:

Cleopatra

Liza Minnelli

Blanche DuBois

Zelda Fitzgerald

Cruella DeVille


Yeah. In case you're still not getting it, my main accessory was generally something similar to this:


So on Halloween, instead of indulging in deep-seated fantasies, I tend to live out my everyday life, only with more extravagant clothing, and sometimes a cigarette holder. Cin-cin! The moral of this story? Smirnoff trumps Snickers.

What sort of profile would your costumes over the years create?