Crack, Boom...Ahhh

So, with Independence Day celebrations kicking off this weekend, it's got everyone in my area in a tizzy and checking weather reports to figure out the best time to plan their picnic and set off their fireworks.

We've been getting a lot of thunderstorms lately, so it's putting people in a funk for their plans. I feel bad for them, but I've been enjoying it. Sure, the rain can get depressing, but we've been lucky and in between all the rain, nearly every day, there are long periods of sunshine and heat. But then the dark clouds roll back in, the air gets dense, and then the cracking starts. Streaking and lighting up the sky, like a random strobe flashing in your eyes, close behind it the boom of thunder.

I love thunderstorms.

Some people get freaked out or spooked by them, especially when a particularly loud crack of thunder jolts them. Maybe they frighten me, too. We've all heard that fear is very similar to falling in love. That's the logic behind taking your new sweetie on a roller-coaster ride -- because you'll appear more attractive to each other afterward. But most amusement park rides make me nauseous, or, if there's any sort of circular movement to them, they make me throw up. And I don't think I need to tell you that projectile vomiting just isn't very attractive. Though, it does approximate the feeling I've had after some of my more regrettable dates recently.

Anyhow. Roller coasters don't make me amorous, but thunderstorms do.

I'm not sure if it's fear triggering it, or if it's the electrical charge in the air that makes the hair on your neck stand up and even in the muggy heat causes shivers up your back, followed by the rapid-fire, nearly blinding flashes of brilliant tentacles of light, crackling across the sky unexpectedly, taking you off guard and then followed by a heavy crack of thunder, so loud you can feel the jolt in your chest, your heartbeat amplified and quickened by the rolling, deep reverbs that barely settle before the next flash of lightning rips across the sky.

Yeah. That's good shit. Even better than fireworks. Maybe not as good as falling in love. But it's been a nice placebo the past week. And it doesn't even make me throw up.

Mammoth Book of Erotica 6

Most excellent news this week. I got a story accepted for Maxim Jakubowski's anthology "Mammoth Book of Erotica 6". I'm amped about it. He's uber-cool, and so is this collection. I'll give more details about the other authors/stories included and release date when I've got the info.

Windmill Dragons

After four months of refraining, I'm now smoking again. I mention this only because I made an assholey, grand old proclamation when I quit, so I figured it was only fair to 'fess up about the failure. As with everything, I'm ambivalent about this decision. I wanted to quit to prove I could. And, obviously, I failed at that. That pisses me off. However, smooching Keanu Reeves was also on my list of things I didn't think I could do but that I would like to attempt. In the four months that I quit smoking, I managed to gain 16 pounds. Yeah, sixteen fucking pounds. And I wasn't exactly slim and trim to start with. So, by my estimation, that extra fat put me even further away from my Keanu goal. And fuck that. If the choice is healthy lungs for life or potentially one second of happiness kissing Keanu Reeves, I'll take Keanu.

So. Onward. To grander goals. While I smoke.

Hail Heather

I don't agree with everything she says, but with her homage to DEADWOOD, Heather Havrilesky writes the everloving hell out of her I Like To Watch column at Salon this week.

Upcoming

So, now with AI over, I find myself back where I was before, with not much to talk about on this blog. I have one idea, something I'd like to blog about for a little bit, but I'm still deciding on whether or not I want to go there or not. If I think I can bring some funny and make it universal instead of personal, then I'll do it. Otherwise, I won't. So I'm still in a state of flux here right now, but please do check back once in a while to see if you like the direction I've gone.

In the meantime, for lost Elliott souls still checking in, you can while away the time at Yaminions.com or obsessively watch Elliott's singing of the national anthem at game 2 of the NBA finals at Rickey.org.

See You Next Tuesday

Better Non Sequitur is releasing their latest anthology, See You Next Tuesday. And it's all about sex.
The recipe for our new anthology is simple: Sex, 50 stories, 1,000 words each, written by 50 authors from all over the globe. A scandalous fusion of literary traditions, See You Next Tuesday is the exclusive and hyper-unusual mishmash of never-seen sex-texts, exploring the inevitable and always poignant cross-sections of human existence and sexuality.

Some of my pals have stories in this collection, including Don Capone, Matthew St. Amand, Alicia Gifford, and J.D. Riso. And, though he's not really a pal of mine, I love Steve Almond's work, and he's got a story in here, too.

Dennis Mahagin -- Angry Poet

The Angry Poet has Dennis Mahagin as thier voice of madness for this week. Go Dennis!

El's Kitchen

El's Kitchen, which is Ellen Meister's website, is now online!

It's a spiffy looking place, very well designed, with plenty of fun. You can get info about Ellen and her books, including excerpts from her soon to be released Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA. There's also a link to an audio snippet read by the to-die-for Lisa Kudrow. (Lisa reads the entire audio version of Ellen's book.)

Rebel Press

A new small press is launching.


They're launching with two releases. The first is a collection of short stories by my pal, the funny and talented Don Capone. His collection is called Stories from Sunset Hill.


I've already had the great pleasure of reading most of these stories, and they range from hilarious to sublime, and they're interwoven within the geography of Sunset Hill. Congrats Don!!

The second book is an anthology, which I'm so pleased to be included in. It's titled Rebellion: New Voices of Fiction.


It includes a vast array of talent; people who I have no business sharing pages with. (But I'll take it anyhow!) The lineup includes:

Robin Slick
Susan DiPlacido
Tom Saunders
Steve Hansen
Katrina Denza
Myfanwy Collins
Marcus Grimm
T.J. Forrester
Grant Jarrett
Matt St. Amand
Tripp Reade
Donald Capone


I've already looked over and read the proof for this collection, and it's wonderful.

The story I've contributed is called "Bloodlines" and it's never been published before. It's one of my favorites, and it also happens to be a prequel of sorts to my new novel that's being pitched.

I'll be keeping you posted about availabiliyt, but you can also get more information at Rebel's website.

Elliott Radio

If you can't get enough of AI's Elliott, don't despair. Elliott radio is here. A couple of links because the one might be wonky.

Elliott here

or

here