I Got a Right to Sing the Sartorial Blues

"I would love to rip you open and wear your ribcage as a hat!"

So says Lorena to Sookie. At this point, I'm not sure if Lorena drinks blood or just wakes up in the morning and does shots of crazy bitch to get her going. Ribcage hats -- if anyone could pull it off, she could. Or, also maybe Pam, but Pam would look hot in anything. And speaking of nutty women, how funny is Talbot? Bill murders a vampire in the foyer and Talbot just shrieks at his husband: "Does nobody care about our house!" Then, later, "You never take me anywhere!" They are so much more entertaining than the Baronnes ever were.

One style that's not so becoming on the ladies of Bon Temps is the "escaped from Juniper Creek" wardrobe, most recently seen on Jason's new love interest, Crystal. Seriously, is the HBO budget that stretched that they just raid each other's departments when in a pickle? Perhaps we'll see Barb or Nicki walking around in some of Sookie's old traveling clothes next season? Now that I think about it, maybe Eric's track suits are leftovers from Christofuh Moltisanti's closet! On the bright side, I do enjoy that they aren't bothering to clothe Joe Manganiello's Alcide at all! From wolf to naked, just the way we want him! But Jason and his pathetic letter jacket -- too funny.

And as for Eric, he's in tip-top shape, if garishly overdressed in a thin sweater.


Tsk tsk. On the upside, his flirting with Talbot is pure joy, not to mention his vicious attack on Queen Sophie-Anne, looking stunning in white pearls and pantsuit.


Those two together are just too smoking hot. And his love-hate with Sookie escalates! Get some Sook!

And I did love her showdown with the king. She went from tart to teary in under 30 seconds!


But once again stealing the show from Sooks was Tara. Tara! Tara, all trussed up in that awful nightgown and then Franklin, joining her in bed in his white silks. And then Tara not just biting his neck, but gnawing on it like it was a prize-winning rib at the state barbeque championships.


And then her choice of weapon -- that medieval spike-ball to bash in his brains, which she then wore as proudly as Lorena claimed she'd wear Sookie's ribcage!

Bill was appropriately dressed thanks to Lorena. She kept him in silver chains and his own blood.


You know how I feel about Bill getting tortured. It's always a welcome sight.

Poor Lafayette got his car all fucked up, before I could even figure out exactly what it was. (Someone? Anyone?)


Worse, he seems to have screwed the pooch with Jesus (that's Hey-soos, not the actual Jesus/Godricklike being) when Jesus finds out he's a drug dealer. He gets all sanctimonious and "take me home" on Lafayette. Seriously? How exactly did he think a cook at Merlotte's was driving a car like that in the first place? And why else would he be wearing gold eyeshadow and a kimono?

And as for Merlotte's -- I still don't really care about Sam's dog-fighting family. Fuck 'em. But I did love Arlene mouthing off to a customer about the peas: "Do you think this is Red Lobster?"

Next week, put on your Sunday best, people, because it's a truly pivotal episode, not just for the season, but the entire series.