The audition rounds of American Idol have begun. Traditionally, this is when we sit back and laugh at the idiots. Usually, this is an uncomfortable and guilty program, because we're sitting back and getting our jollies from people being humiliated because they're clueless in their idiocy.
But this year, there's already been a twist. Certainly, there have been bad singers and people so over-the-top with lunacy that I had to wonder if it was just an act for the cameras. But the funniest came when The Stalker Guy came into the room and was so obviously making a joke. He focused on Paula and cheerily sang her a song about breaking into her house and trying on her panties. Sound creepy?
Not so much.
Not since Adam Sandler rhymed "pumpkin pie" with "Sammy Davis Jr. only had one eye" in the Thanksgiving song has the nation been treated to such silly American songwriting. Given my love of "Flight of the Conchords," maybe I'm inclined to laugh at mock-songery. But although The Stalker Guy didn't posses the musical ability of Brent and Jemaine, he did have the same refreshing air of willingness to look foolish courage.
Rhyming everything he could with "stalk her," once he pulled out the "If I was Columbo, I'd Peter Falk her" line, I cracked up. But then, what made it even funnier is that it seemed like even Paula got the humor of it, until daft-ass Simon stopped the song and dourly called the guy creepy. If he didn't think it was funny, I could maybe get that. (but really, Peter Falk her? It's absurdly funny.) What was hilarious to me, though, is that Simon seemed to really think the guy wasn't even trying to make a joke. Simon seemed to think he was generally unhinged like so many of the others that they encourage to go off their meds and debase themselves.
And that's the funniest fucking part. It's American Idol, Cowell, not a freaking NATO summit. The guy was having a laugh, and if Cowell could've pulled his brush-topped head out of his self-important ass for a minute, he might've seen that. But that is the point of the awful audtions rounds, isn't it -- to laugh at people who're so damn clueless. Ahh, good times. These are good times, and Simon could be Jimmie Walker!