Run Devil Run

So, there's this hot rock band in L.A. called Run Devil Run. They're pretty well known in L.A. for their live shows, and they've got an acoustic one coming this Saturday, Jan 29 at Beachfront 301. Now, they've also done this pretty cool thing in the publishing world. Heather Bennett of Decadent Publishing came up with the idea to have stories written based on their songs, and Run Devil Run agreed. So they've let the writers use their titles, lyrics, and even their faces for the book covers. The novellas will be available first in e-book format, and then collected into a print anthology. And the absolute coolest part is that when you buy one of the novellas, you also get a free download of the Run Devil Run song that inspired it. Can't beat that fuckin' deal, huh?

I tell you about this because I was lucky enough to write one of the novellas. Mine will be out in a couple weeks, and I'll tell you more about it then. (Including my sly subterfuge to snag the band member that I was smitten with for my cover image.) But the first novella is being released today. It's by well known romance writer Rachel Carrington.

Rachel's story is titled Share Your Soul and it's available right here. I was lucky enough to get an advance read of it, and I thought it was great. Here's the lowdown on what I thought about it:
Like many women, Olivia wants revenge on her ex-husband. Unlike most women, the reason she wants revenge is because he killed her. For the past five years, she's been lingering as a ghost, trying to formulate a plan to bring him to justice, which is a particularly tall order because he's already been tried -- and exonerated -- for her murder. Then, Olivia finally gets her break when another spirit refers her to someone who can potentially help her -- the mysterious and powerful Gabriel.

With "Share Your Soul." Carrington creates a sultry and moody romantic suspense with a twist of the paranormal. The sparks between Olivia and Gabriel leap off the page, and it's impossible to not keep turning the pages.

Now, as an extra special bonus, with this first novella, you actually will get TWO free downloads from Run Devil Run. You'll get "Dance All Night" right away, and then, later on, you'll get a download of their new song, "Go."

So, for real. I love the RDR songs, and I loved Rachel's story. So check it out. And here is her book cover, featuring Jeremy Aric, the lead singer of Run Devil Run.

The Larry Sanders Show

One of the funniest shows ever made never made it to DVD. It was an HBO show from the early '90s starring Garry Shandling as talk show host Larry Sanders. It was clever, outrageous, witty, and surprising. The cast, including Rip Torn, Jeffrey Tambor, Janeane Garofalo, and Jeremy Piven, was unbelievable, and the guest stars were superb. IFC has started running this show, and if you like to laugh, I highly recommend you check it out. If nothing else, be sure to catch "The Spider Episode" which is running this week.

Happy New Year

I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays. Mine were nice, and I certainly don't have anything to complain about. One thing I did notice this season, though, regarding my mood/attitude/whatever you want to call it -- I've always been very lucky in the sense that I'm easily amused. I've also found over the years that there are tricks to sort of fake my way to happiness. Even if I'm not in a great mood, I can fake it until it becomes an actual good mood.

But the holiday season usually inspires a bit more than happiness. All that merry-making and celebrating and festivity and eating and drinking and decorating and giving and receiving are usually catalysts that hit a critical mass to formulate something more potent and rare. Joy.

And this year, I realized that I can't fake my way to joy. I can get to content and even happy, but that final, wonderful leap to joy isn't something I can fabricate. It either happens or doesn't. This year, it didn't. And that's okay, cause, like I said, I was happy enough. But it also made me realize something else that's been going on for quite a while.

When I started writing, it was fun. There was, as lame as this sounds, an element of joy. When I started this blog, it was also out of fun. It's expected that writers have blogs to promo their works, but without going into a long diatribe of my personal peccadilloes, promoing my own stuff is difficult for me. But I figured I could slip in a few obnoxious posts about my books between other stuff that was enjoyable. So I did have fun. Seriously. As silly as it sounds, I got a kick out of working myself into a lather to bash Chris Daughtry. Good times, good times. Over the years, that enthusiasm has dropped off. This is not a commentary on the state of entertainment at all. I've always been capricious in my interests, and I assume this is another, normal "seven year itch" situation. For example, if the sight of my beloved Conan returning to late night -- wearing jeggings -- wasn't enough to inspire a giddy essay, I don't think very much will.

This is all subject to change, of course. Maybe I'm just lazy right now, or having trouble sitting my ass in a chair to write. But until that potential time that the pendulum swings back and I once again feel it appropriate to knock out some frothy, lunatic rantings about whatever, I didn't want to keep feeling guilty for only posting promo notices.

So this is my official acknowledgment that this blog has, indeed, devolved into not much more than a place to slap up notices about my writing. As you can imagine, given what I've just told you about my general apathy towards writing, those will also probably become less frequent. But I feel better about at least being blunt with the admission that I'm no longer making the effort to entertain here. I apologize for it, but I also thank you if you ever came here expecting to be entertained, because that's the biggest compliment I could've ever asked for.

So with that, I thank you for stopping by in the past, for reading this now, and I hope you'll continue to check back once in a while in case I either have smashing good news or do rebound with some vicious commentary. Until then, I wish you a very happy new year. I hope it's full of health and happiness, and, hopefully, even some smatterings of genuine joy.

House Money - CAPA Nominee

The Romance Studio has just released its annual CAPA nominees for the best in romantic fiction for 2010. My book, House Money has been nominated for Best Romantic Suspense. YAY! That's the best Christmas present I could ask for.



Kindle edition - only $3.99

Shuffle Up -- RT Reviewers Choice Nominee!!

And the good news just keeps rolling in for Shuffle Up and Deal. It is nominated for a Romantic Times Reviewers' Choice Best Book Award for Best Small Press Erotic Romance/Fiction! (scroll down the page to get to the small press section)

So happy and excited!



Paperback - $15.75

Kindle - $2.50

Shuffle Up at The Romance Reviews

Just got in another very cool review for Shuffle Up and Deal. This one is from The Romance Reviews. Michelle R said it's "My favorite romantic comedy of the year."

Yay!

White Lightning by GC Smith

White Lightning: Murder in the World of Stock Car Racing is the debut novel from GC Smith.

E.Z. Carter is the team manager of White Lightning racing. He's got a checkered past, but a very bright future. White Lightning, owned by his wife Addie, is near the top on the circuit and is within reach of the championship with just a couple more wins. But things take a sudden and dark turn when their star driver, Fairman Slinger, wins a heated race under a cloud of suspicion. Worse, that night, Slinger's wife is found murdered at the hotel -- and it's E.Z. who discovers the body. Competing team owners, suspicious cops, and E.Z.'s troubled past all congeal to make this an expolsive -- and potentially devastating situation.

Smith gives us genuine southern voices and flair, and there's plenty of stock car action to keep things revved. E.Z. is a likeable hero, and Addie is a firecracker as they lead us through the world of stock car racing and this mystery. Just like a NASCAR race, this story is fast, fun, and full of dangerous turns.



Paperback - $13.50
Kindle - $5.00

Thanksgiving

I have plenty to be thankful for, not least of which is readers, because without them, there'd be no need for writers. So I am thankful for all the wonderful readers on this Thanksgiving.

Though writing comes easily to me, the business of writing and publishing are not always the most breezy and fun areas to navigate. It's very easy to become jaded, discouraged, or downright bitter in this industry. Therefore, I'm also indebted to the wonderful publishers and editors who've helped me along to either make my work better or further my career, or, often, done both at once. Liz Burton at Zumaya and Dan Reitz at Mundania are just aces. Zane and Maxim Jakubowski, by publishing my work, have made me feel like I earn the right to call myself a writer. And Susie Bright made me feel like a writer who was doing something right.

I'm not the easiest person to get to know, or to get along with. I know that. Really, I do. But, somehow, there've been a few people who've been able to tolerate me long enough that I consider them not just colleagues, but friends.

Ellen Meister is the kind of writer, who, at a quick glance, could inspire insidious jealousy. She's gotten the big deals and had successful books. But instead of inspiring envy, she simply inspires, because she is the kind of talent that gives one faith in the system. She is a wonderful writer -- full of humor and great plots and unforgettable characters. Even better, and just as rare in this world, she is a truly classy dame.

Donna George Storey elevates sex with smarts, infusing elegance and culture and beautifully languid word precision into truly sultry situations. She's also a fine friend, both caring and considerate and always ready with a joke.

William Reese Hamilton takes me to bygone eras I've never known and brings them to life just as he enlightens me with vivid depictions of far-off corners of the world. Better, he's always close with an encouraging word or unabashed praise.

Last, but certainly not least, is the incomparable Donald Capone. He's a better writer than probably even he knows -- full of life and humor. And he's also the most generous person I've ever met. Time, money, and work, he gives it all away freely by being a renaissance man in the realm of publishing. Cover designs, editing, publishing, critiquing, and promoting -- I've never seen anyone give back so much to so many other writers. Alas, no one's perfect, not even Don. Witty and giving as he is, he's also a Yankee fan. I am so grateful to know Don, but also grateful he's got that fatal flaw that keeps me from developing a mad, hopeless crush on him.

Reviewers. There's a double-edged sword. Of course, writers are tremendously thrilled and flattered when they get praise, and a good review makes the arduous endeavor seem worthwhile. So I am most certainly thankful for all the readers who've taken the time to read my work, and then gone the extra step to review it kindly. As this is a kindly holiday, a lot of people would be classy and thank all reviewers, for both the good and the bad. But this is Thanksgiving, not "I've lost my fucking mind and balls day" so, really, if I'm being perfectly honest, I'm not feeling so kindly inclined toward the bad reviews. Basically, if you trashed my work, there's a pretty high chance that you're either thickskulled or twunty, or possibly both.

Of course, that does come with a caveat. If you trashed my work using adjectives such as hard, rough, or edgy, then I probably took it as a compliment even if you were abundantly clear that wasn't your intention. Bonus points if the negativity was due to my preponderance of filthy material. And triple score if there were then comments about me being overly sentimental or gushy. Those are exactly the sort of comments that make my dark soul brighter, my nasty, libidinous pulse quicken, and my mushy heart swell.

Also, I am thankful for vodka.

Community

I know I've been quiet, and I have no excuse. I'm just not very verbal or vocal these days. But I have, naturally, been busy watching plenty of TV. Of course, I'm watching HBO's Boardwalk Empire. I don't know what to say about this show. I love Steve Buscemi in the lead role, as he brings the gravitas and the only bits of much needed lightness. The sets and costumes are fucking amazing. All the production is top-notch, and the acting is great, too. But I'm just not in love with the show. I want to fall for it. I really do. But when this week's episode ended and they started the next week's previews with "Only Three More Episodes To Go" and I was like, "Thank God!" I realized I probably wasn't going to fall in love with it. But it is good. Just not great. Lacking in some humor. Chiaroscuro, HBO.

What I did love on HBO was Bored to Death. Jason Schwartzman, Ted Danson, and Zach Galifianakis are comedy gold, and the wacky, pulp inspired writing is just zany and self-aware enough. Well done, Jonathan Ames. I hope Zach G doesn't get to be too big of a star to return for another season of this show.

I also enjoyed Showtime's The Big C, mostly because Laura Linney is absolutely luminous. There's just something lovable about her, and when she smiles, it makes me feel good.

But what I really want to say a few words about is NBC's Community. Mostly, I want to talk about it because I'm concerned that no one is watching it and it's going to get cancelled. That'd be a shame, because although the show is admittedly uneven, when it's at its peak, there is nothing better. It's extremely strong on characters, sometimes reminding me of the classic Taxi. Troy and Abed are the best bromance on TV, and Joel McHale really does anchor the show with the perfect mix of arrogance, apathy, and, when needed, heart.

There are throwaway and even crappy episodes. But then there are ones that are almost legendary, such as the Goodfellas chicken finger episode, the paintball episode, this Halloween's zombie-fest, and even this past week's "bottle episode," which proved that Community's cast of characters and the writing is sharp enough to hit brilliance even without the stunt episodes -- although I guess a bottle episode is a stunt in and of itself.

In closing, don't order HBO just for Boardwalk Empire, but do tune in to NBC and help keep Community enrolled. Thanks

Donna George Storey

And another of my favorite writers, Donna George Storey, has a couple of spicy stories up live to heat up your cold November nights. "Spring Pictures" at Clean Sheets, and "Secret Gardens" at The Erotic Woman. You're welcome!

Alicia Gifford

One of my favorite short story writers is Alicia Gifford, and she's featured this week at rkvry. There are links to lots of her stories, and I think you'd really enjoy this, because she's entirely unique.

Ellen Meister's The Other Life

Funny and talented writer Ellen Meister has a new book coming out in January. The book is The Other Life, and it is now available for pre-order, and it sounds like it's going to be a winner.

What if you could return to the road not taken?

Happily married with a young son and another child on the way, Quinn Braverman has the perfect life. She also has an ominous secret. Every time she makes a major life decision, she knows an alternative reality exists in which she made the opposite choice-not only that, she knows how to cross over. But even in her darkest moments-like her mother's suicide-Quinn hasn't been tempted to visit . . . until she receives shattering news about the baby she's carrying.

Desperate to escape her grief, Quinn slips through the portal that leads to her other life: the life in which she stayed with her exciting but neurotic ex- boyfriend, and is childless. The life in which-as she is amazed to discover-her mother is still very much alive.

Quinn is soon forced to make an impossible choice. Will she stay with the family she loves and face the painful challenges that lie ahead? Or will a more carefree life-and the primal lure of being with her mother-pull her into her other life for good?

This gripping emotional journey is both shocking and poignant . . . as the bonds of love are put to the ultimate test.

Congrats Sue & The Pegasus

Congratulations to Sue Nami! Her book As The Pegasus Flies is a finalist in the 2010 USA Book News Awards! Well deserved!

And you can also check recent installments on The Pegasus Blog.

Capone Interview in Eclectica

My good friend and talented writer Don Capone interviewed me for Eclectica Magazine. It's live right now, right here. He's funny, you'll like it, check it out.

And while you're there, browse the rest of the current issue of Eclectica, featuring a great story, "Keepers of the Faith" by William Reese Hamilton.

In Need of a Transfusion

Both True Blood and Entourage have wrapped up for the summer, but it was, sadly, neither an exciting nor satisfying night.

Out in Hollywood, Ari tried to pull all stops to save his marriage but he fell flat and his wife left him. Meanwhile, E's impending wedded bliss took a hit as his fiancee's father requested he sign a pre-nup, which was, sadly, the funniest part of the show. I have grown to finally like E and even his tiff with Scott Caan has been some of the smirkier funny material this year. But, that was all small game as the ticking bomb that was Vince finally went off, as much as Vince can. First, I will say that it's been a breakthrough year for Adrian Genier, as he's been particularly good this year as he gets crabby, high, frustrated, bombed, lovesick, high and then bitchy again. He's done a good job with the role. And I don't really mind the VH-1 "Behind the Music" Vince gets hooked on drugs arc so much. I just think they missed some grand comic moments with it, too.

I mean, this show did used to be a comedy, but this season was treacherously dark and this finale was downright depressing. I used to be able to count on Entourage to always deliver the goods. After the tension and mad scrambles and worries, the miraculous culmination would always happen and the boys would be okay and in a ridiculously better situation. But with Vince bottoming out, it's also caused splinters in the relationships and this year was like watching fucking "Thirtysomething" with the tedious grind of emotional bullshit. I always hated "Thirtysomething" and I don't watch Entourage to feel bad. The coup de grace of it all came as Drama, as always, went way out of his way for "Baby Bro" and was trying like hell to help him. He scuffled with Eminem (okay, that was a little funny) and tried to protect Vince, but Vince got his face all bloodied and bitched out Johnny. NOT ACCEPTABLE! I don't give a fuck how coked out Vince is. Going after Drama is just never forgivable. So between that and the Gold's forced breakup (not particularly well developed, btw) it was just a pisser of a capper to the evening.

Also falling to the devil of drama was True Blood. I've said before that this show is at its campy best when it acknowledges what it is and works within those parameters. But it's been derailing this season with some overly heavy lines and, frankly, piss-poor character turns. This whole business with Sam is stupid. Jason and the HotShot line is fuckin' weird, and, worse, it's boring. Bon Temps used to be a fun place and this show worked because everyone revolved in everyone else's orbit, but they've pulled all the separate storylines apart this year and never brought them back together and so everyone is off doing whatever in their own universe and it's just not cohesive or fun. Tara's hair looks cute, I will say that. But even Lafayette is getting lost going off with Jesus while Arlene has Daddy issues and Godric reappears in visions to Eric. How fucking dumb. If they didn't want to let Godric go, then they shouldn't have killed him. They've gotten to the point with bulletproof characters that all risk and excitement is gone while the cast and storylines bloat and they keep trying to fill the space with dark drama which ends up coming off like exaggerated ennui.

I know they've laid the groundwork for next year's season of the witch, but I'm having a hard time caring anymore past the potential for naked Skarsgard and Manganiello. I did love the King and his storyline and would've been sad to see him go, and I loved his interplay with Sookie in the finale. (Poor Talbot's remains!) And I loved Eric, coming back all covered with concrete goo and sticking it up Bill's ass. I have been WAITING for Sookie to figure out that Bill allowed her to be nearly killed by the Ratrays! And I love that she was too dumb to go there but Eric just throws it right out! But then things turn to shit with the Crouching Queen, Hidden Vampire high-wire fight between Sophie and Bill. I mean, really! Really? Exacerbated only by Sookie's disappearance into fairy-land. *Sigh.* While Entourage leapt wholeheartedly into drama, it seems like Blood just ran headlong into the abyss with a bizarre mix of absurd and boring.

I know it sounds harsh. But it was a quick and sharp decline these past several episodes, and even though Ball himself penned the finale, it was just...lackluster. And that, for a television show, particularly on HBO, is the True Death.

Not Everything is Broken

Eh, what can I say? I know I've been lax in my commenting on my favorite HBO summer fare, but, it's summer! The good times just keep rolling for me as they do in Bon Temps. What's new? Jason's dating a panther -- bestiality is the one last taboo, huh? Check that off the list for True Blood. In the span of one and a half episodes, Sam became an entirely different character. I know we're all entitled to a bad night, but Godric on stake, people, that was fuckin' weird -- and since weird is a relative term on this show, you know it's hinky. But we've learned he's a killer and now it's haunting him since his little brother who is at this exact moment robbing Sam has stirred up all this aggression and so Sam flips out and calls poor Terry a shellshocked fucker. Boo, hiss! But YAY for the female viewers because Sam is looking mighty fine these days, and he's rarely wearing clothes, so I'll let it all pass.

What else? Lafayette is dating a shaman named Jesus, who may or may not be evil. Or maybe Jesus is dating Lafayette who's a shaman and maybe Laf is just having a bad trip. I don't have a clue how this will tie into the finale, but it might be good. Meanwhile his cousin Tara had a polar reversal with Sam. She found out that Jason scrambled Eggs and though she wanted to go all bloodthirsty on Andy about it, Andy was so pathetically repentant that Tara softened and then decided that nasty Sam was sexy again, so they're doing it. And the best news is that Hoyt and Jessica got back together! YAY! And we got to see Maxine miffed about it! So basically everyone who's not embroiled in the whole King Russell fiasco is getting laid, and I guess that's how Bon Temps got its name.

It's really only Sookie who hasn't gotten some for, oh, I think it's been a day now. But she was making out with Eric! YAY! But then Eric shackled her (YAY!) and professed his maker-love for Pam ("You know I love you more when you're cold and heartless") and set out to set a trap for Russell by telling him that Sookie's fairy blood will allow him to walk in the daylight. Oh yeah! We're allowed to say it now! WHAT IS SOOKIE? FAIRY! She's part fairy, people. And I did love Sook's reaction to that news: "That's so lame!" No, baby girl, it's not lame, it's just that the land of fairies is lame on not-TV HBO. But we'll take the unintentional laughs from that, too.

But, about the King -- I absolutely MUST comment on his madness. It's wonderful! I really wish he'd survive this season, because he's by far the most entertaining bad guy this show has ever had, and that's saying a lot! Plus, I just adore the candy dish/decanter that he's carrying poor gooey Talbot around in. That is such a wonderful touch. And his manifesto-like ramblings about world-domination are just so twistedly funny and nonsensical. I just...I just love him!

And I also still love Alexander Skarsgard. But, much like he and Pam, I love him best when he's cold and heartless. He's been great this year with his flirting with Talbot and machination-face he puts on while thinking about his Viking crown.


I love him so much I've taken to using his name as a profanity, which I'd previously reserved only for George Clooney, Al Pacino, Ray Liotta, and Keanu Reeves. For example, when I stub a toe, I tend to shout " OH, George Clooney!" I don't recall how this started, but it did a while ago. If I drop something on the floor, I give a vehement "Keanu REEVES!" Well, the other day, while in the midst of trying to change a lightbulb, I managed to shatter the new bulb, and it just popped right out: "Alexander Skarsgard!" It shocked even me. But there you go, that's true love, and Alex oughta be mighty flattered to be in current lineup of my made-up, luminary swear words. I'm sure he'll cherish the moment he heard about this just as he will his trip to the Emmy awards this week. I know, it's neck-and-neck for which one is the bigger thrill.

Also, Bill has been around. Pam sprayed silver in his eyes! And then he waxed eloquently about he and Sookie living boring soccer mom lives. And then, I don't know, he did some other stuff. Go Alexander Skarsgard yourself, Bill.

In other show news, Entourage is hurtling to the end of the season, and it feels like a really quick one to me. Vince is on drugs and in love with Sasha Grey and basically fucking everything up. Turtle is in shape and selling tequila that the owner of the company doesn't want sold. Ari is experiencing marital problems due to his ongoing assholery. (Boo, hiss, hate that storyline even though I guess we knew it was coming as soon as the season started off with Eric saying that Ari is the "picture of wedded bliss.") And Drama, as usual, saves the day by becoming a cartoon gorilla! And the very best part of it all is that Rhys Coiro has finally been back around as Billy Walsh! I have been waiting on this bastard's return, and it's been worth it. This time around, he's juxtaposed with Vince. Billy is all cleaned up and calm and he came up with the whole gorilla "Johnny's Bananas" idea for Drama while he keeps one eye on Vince as he derails. And the most recent episode ended with a fabulously hilarious shot. Lloyd finds Vince's stash of coke, and everyone stands around drop-jawed and the camera zooms out and there's Billy, fresh out of the pool, also gathered around and he's got that sick Medellin tattoo across his whole back! And he's the most sane one there now! Alexander Skarsgard, was that a beautiful moment.

Night on Oz

What the fuck? Is this True Blood or a supernatural rehash of Oz? The homoeroticism was flowing more freely than Bill's bloody tears this week. Not that I have a problem with that, believe me. Lafayette should get some from Jesus!


And, of course, if it gets Eric shirtless, I'm all on board!


But then we've got Sookie and Bill, rapidly becoming Beecher and Keller and hurtling toward my most despised couple on TV. God! I am so sick of them! Cry and make-up, bite and make-up, drain and make-up. And I'm so sick of their fucking theme music that's supposed to make me feel all sweet on them. I'm going to have a Pavlovian response to it and just start gagging as soon as I hear those strings start to swell anymore. I just hate them now!

Overall, it was an okay episode, I guess. It was by Raelle Tucker, and she's good at the dark and feely type of things, but I don't generally get a lot of laughs from her episodes. And, frankly, at this point, with the werewolves and soapy situations and ultra-violence, when this show doesn't acknowledge its camp appeal and takes itself really seriously, it doesn't get "heavy" so much as "dumb" to me. But, maybe I'm just jaded and miffed about the whole Sookie-Bill thing. I did enjoy muchly Sookie's scrapbook dedicated to them with its one picture. That was a little funny.

Also funny again was Talbot and the King. Talbot having his weekly hissy when Queen Sophie-Anne moved in was great: "I can't get Franklin's brains out of the guest linens, I had to bury werewolves under the gazebo, and that Sookie bitch staked Lorena!"


And things looked up when he and Eric got all naked, because let's face it -- they're both fine! And who knew it was so easy to seduce someone? "I'm bored. Take off your clothes." We go through all sorts of shenanigans for three seasons to get Eric undressed and it's just that easy. Love Talbot! But we all knew it would end badly, and though I enjoy Eric being all Ericy and staking him, I'm sad to see Talbot and his chafing diamond slippers exit already. Such a damn shame.

On the upside, Jesus returned and so did Alfre Woodard! Alfre was pretty funny, wielding that knife and greeting Jesus so sunnily. And now the door is opened and soon Lafayette will have supernatural abilities and Jesus will be his magic man in many ways. And no, none of that is a spoiler from the books, cause Lafayette died long ago in the books. They've just telegraphed this shit nicely. But it's all good.

Jason? He gets more reckless and more shirtless and sees some zombie-ass shit and just blows it off and worries about Crystal and I don't care about any of it. Though doesn't Hotshot fill the Aryan brotherhood void left by the closing of Oz? I tell you, all we need now is Cyril O'Reilly to run through with his sock puppet and it'd be like old times with a better setting.

Tara is in full-frothing snappy Tara mode, nastily warning Sookie away from Bill and then having disturbingly sexy dreams about Franklin. For real, his eyelashes alone in that shower scene were gorgeous. Poor Tara.

But Jessica was back!


She's still pining for Hoyt but she did some vampire-ninja training with Bill to fight off werewolves and then she ate Patrick Swayze's brother! YAY Jessica!! That was a heartwarming moment.

Also heartwarming was the return of Rene, cher! I know, he ended up being a psycho murderer, but he and that cajun accent are still way cute.

And then all of that wonderfulness was totally sullied by the awfulness of the Sookie-Bill reconcilement. I don't even know why I suddenly hate them, but I just do. This is worse than Ross and Rachel. Maybe they'll come up with their own little break-up tag line. Instead of "We were on a break" it could be "I will use this stake!" If only, right? Pfft.