By all rights, this season of Idol should have had less suspense than I had walking into the movie Titanic. The same as I knew that boat was going down, it was pretty obvious from the first show of this season who would be the final two would be. But like James Cameron concocting all sorts of fun ways for Jack and Rose to swish and splash around that sinking vessel while others get creatively offed, I sat around to hear what Simon would say to the drowning, waited to see who'd they throw a lifeline to, and am utterly rapt, every week, waiting to see what Adam Lambert's going to do next.
I liked the kid anyhow, but by the time he busted out "Ring of Fire" I was willing to proclaim him one of the best (and by best, I mean most overall entertaining) contestants this show has had ever had. I missed a few weeks while away, but rickey.orged his doings, so I'm all caught up. And now, after his sateen take on the Travolta suit and, I'm convinced, breaking the "Feelin' Good" curse, I have no trouble saying that he's thee best contestant ever. I mean, I can't stand it! I wait, and I wonder, and then he comes out and does it again! Randy has his idiotic "too theatrical" comments. But let's face it, the unpreened performances of the "pure rock" era of the early 90's are so long dead, and we haven't had an over-the-top, theatrical performer with a set of chops like this since Freddie Mercury. And it's about fucking time we did!
Naturally, I was all stoked for Rat Pack week, and I got in the mood by making sure I was feeling good with a generous glass of vodka. (I need to do this, because I'm still a little sore about missing the whole Tarantino episode. That just pisses me off. Could someone at least tell me what his interaction with Lambert was like?) Things immediately took a very pleasant, incongruous turn when they trotted out Jaime Foxx as the mentor for this week. I, uh, I didn't even bother questioning it, because I figured Foxx would be interesting. He was. He was also nearly salaciously nice to everyone, but I don't really have a problem with that. Out came Kris doing "The Way You Look Tonight" and I thought he did fine but I was confused by the arrangement. I've heard this song done slow and swinging, and even with a slow opening that ended up swinging, but never slow and quiet for so long before a strange segue into a mildly uptempo section. It was just odd, to me. But Kris was okay. But, when I first watched Titanic and saw Rose being given a tour of the ship and a lecture by her mother. I found myself antsy and wondering when we'd first see that iceberg. This was the same effect here. As the judges were talking, I was already drifting off, wondering what Lambert would be singing.
Allison was next, and I kind of feel bad for her. She's got such a unique voice, and she's so likable, but she's just simply overshadowed this year. She did "Someone To Watch Over Me" and, frankly, she kicked ass with it. But Simon questioned her confidence, and though I don't know if that's exactly it, but she doesn't have a shot at winning anyhow. But, much like Jack drawing the nudie picture of Rose, even though she's not the main event, she gets my attention. Then there's Giraud; doing "My Funny Valentine" and this is sort of like Billy Zane as the villain. He's good, you know. Does the job, and everything works. But Billy Zane never parlayed that role into big success and Giraud just isn't really going to parlay his lifeline save into a win, either. It's decent entertainment, but I'm still waiting for that iceberg.
Gokey, is, definitely, my iceberg of the season. I watch him with as much interest as I watch Lambert, because he's the only one who could sink this gorgeous, outrageous ship named Adam. He comes out with that gravelly voice that I admittedly like and does "Come Rain or Come Shine," which is one of my all-time favorite songs. He's wearing his standard glasses, nothing too fancy for the evening. The best part was watching Foxx fearlessly get in his face (in his grill), like, RIGHT up in his face and making him sing. That moment right there was like that brief scene in Titanic when the ship first turns perpendicular, and Jack and Rose are holding on to the railing and that one poor guy doesn't get over the railing, so he falls and then bounces into the propeller. Shocking, cringe-worthy, and totally fucking awesome! That's a replay moment, for sure. He's going to get "bluesy" with it and ends up strutting and ducking and suddenly his movements are deemed to be no longer cheezy and cornball but confident.
Idiot Kara has a lovely line critiquing this by telling him that he was lacking swagger and suddenly tonight he came out full of swag. So...what? He attended a pre-show party and picked up a goody bag of expensive aftershave and a Swatch and he was wearing both and that was the swag? Personally, I love that she's there to make Paula look amazingly insightful this year. Because Paula HAS been the most insightful judge. Make fun of her shopping in the ladies' department comments but I knew what she meant. She's been coherent and entertaining and hasn't really lost her shit once that I've seen. All that is, of course, a bad thing. But it just shows that she's reached a higher level of functionality during intoxication -- choreographing those group dances and all that shit. Good for her! But it just makes Kara's sober stupidity seem that much more annoying.
Anyhow, by the time Gokey finished, it had been a decent show, even though I was wondering why they dubbed it "Rat Pack" night instead of just "Sinatra" night, because all four songs so far had been done by him. So I knew either Dean or Sammy was gonna take the shaft. (I guess we can consider Pauler to be Joey Bishop as the comic relief, and Lawford, who gives a fuck about him anyhow. Oh! Okay, Randy can be Peter Lawford.) Anyhow, the iceberg had hit, but there was still a whole WORLD of crazy shenanigans to come!
Enter Adam Lambert. Foxx is funny, telling him that Adam just doesn't even care who he is. And, just like Jack and Rose, running the opposite way of the crowd, he represents Sammy instead of Sinatra and does "Feeling Good" -- a song that sunk at least two other contestants that I know of. But, you know, they weren't LAMBERT. Out he comes in that shiny white suit, descending those stairs like a predatory Norma Desmond, ready for her close-up, hitting that crazy high note he's got. As this goes on, I'm like Kathy Bates in the lifeboat, watching the ship in its unbelievably, spectacularly dramatic death throws -- cracking and splashing and throwing off sparks before sucking under the waves as I sit there and say, "Dear God!" Except, in this case, Adam's not suffering a tragic death -- he's just being Adam. I just mean that the correlation, which I've now beat to death, is that I knew it was coming; I'd ended up waiting for it in anticipation; and it still managed to delight me with its extravagant showiness.
Randy had to assert his jerkwad heterosexuality by saying it was too theatrical for him. Fuck him, you know? Like Billy Zane and the Coeur de la Mer, he just doesn't get it. I'm sure there are others who agree with him. But for the rest of us? We know that Adam Lambert is, for this season at least, the king of the Idol world.