William Vitanyi, Jr.

William Vitanyi, Jr.

With two books and one produced screenplay under his belt, William Vitanyi, Jr. has definitely tasted more than a little success with his writing. His first novel, Palm Sunday, is a technological thriller about the organized violation of online privacy. Blending well-developed characters, online technology, and a superbly suspenseful plot, Vitanyi will keep you glued to the page.

His second novel, Kyuboria, is an offbeat and absurdly realistic account of cubicle working. It's sure to crack up anyone who's ever been a state worker, or a cubicle worker. But its appeal translates to anyone who's held an office job. When state worker Clint Palmer discovers that a large grant is available that he could use to start his own business, he gets excited. But there's a catch. The grant is only available to people who've been fired from their job. Easy enough to accomplish, except that the state never fires anyone. Thus begins Clint's mission to get fired with his escalating schemes that become more outrageous by the day. Fans of the Ron Livingston flick Office Space will definitely appreciate Vitanyi's ironic wit and depictions of office politics.

Bill has also written a screenplay. Shakespeare's Dilemma is a short film that places some of Shakespeare's most memorable characters – such as Lady MacBeth and Iago, in a modern office setting as they wrestle with deadlines and politics as they await auditor Othello. A Lyon's Den Production, and starring Bill as an inept, golf-loving Shakespeare, Shakespeare's Dilemma is a satirical and witty look at office life, and it also features some stunning codpieces. Director John C. Lyons, who also plays Iago, has been gathering rave reviews on the film festival circuit for his follow-up short, Hunting Camp. Both Shakespeare's Dilemma and Hunting Camp are available through Lyon's Den Production.

Both of Bill's books, Palm Sunday and Kyuboria are available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and at your local bookstores.




1) Who are some of your favorite writers, and how do you think they've
influenced you?

Louis L'amour - Many westerns. Though he wrote fiction, he prided himself on writing about places that actually existed, and trails or watering holes that he had seen with his own eyes. When reading his stuff you don't even realize that you are turning the pages. Influence: Matching fiction with reality.

Joseph Heller - "Something Happened" (he also wrote "Catch-22", which I haven't read yet.) "Something Happened" includes a lot about office life, though not much about cubicles. In the story the main character has a disabled child at home, which I do as well. This is not the focus of the book, which actually doesn't have much of a focus, but is an entertaining read. Influence: Writing syle and attitude, rambling about nothing, as long as it's funny or ironic. Or funny and ironic.

Chuck Palahniuk - "Choke", "Survivor". Chuck shows how to use your own voice in your writing, to speak to the reader almost in fleeting images. He demonstrates that a fully constructed, grammatically perfect sentence is not always the best way. Influence: Write naturally.

Stephen Holzner - "Visual Basic 6". (Programming reference book). I have to make a living, right?

John C. Lyons - Work memo dated 11/16/2004 admonishing me for taking my personal work home with me. Influence: I now bath less frequently.

Susan DiPlacido - "24/7". She is an Eloquentress Suprema. In fact, she influenced me to get a tatoo: 24/7, on my forearm.

Really? Nah. But she is a heck of a writer.

2) What do you think is your greatest strength or asset in your writing?
Your biggest weakness or flaw?

My biggest flaw is that I suck. I'm a hack. An amateur. I'll never amount to anything in the world of literature. I will die unknown and unappreciated.

But I'm good with that.

As for my strengths, hmmm...

I guess I'm pretty diligent once I get started with a book. Even though I like to watch football, for example, if a game is on I think about what I could accomplish with my writing over the three hours or so of the broadcast. Then, usually, I write for that time instead.

Also, I know when something is funny, because if it makes me laugh, I know it will make someone else laugh, too. In humor topicality is important to provide a common reference. Writing about an environment that you are intimately familiar with is key to getting the nuance right.

Tropicality is entirely different.

I think I'm getting better with cadence. Writing at its best should be like a song, I think, and just as with music you can tell when something just doesn't fit. It's not necessarily grammar, usage, or any other definable aspect of language. Remember how we used to say in English class, "It just doesn't sound right?"

Well sometimes it doesn't.

3) You've written novels (Kyuboria and Palm Sunday) and a screenplay
(Shakespeare's Dilemma). What do you like best about each medium and which
would you like to focus on in the future?

With novels it's all you. Either you got it right--as far as how you intend it to be read--or you didn't. With a screenplay you get to actually see and hear how someone else is interpreting your intention. It's great. If you are involved in the actual production of your own screenplay, as I was in "Shakespeare's Dilemma", then you get to have a back and forth exchange with the actors, explaining different emphasis, intonation, whatever. Sometimes they have a better idea, and it becomes more of a collaboration. Everyone has more of a stake in the final product, so there is sort of a collective nervousness at how the final product will be received.

Which do I like better?

It depends on the finished product. If one is great and the other mediocre, I like the great one. I'll probably either quit writing altogether, or continue writing in both styles.

Depends on my mood.

4) Palm Sunday is a thriller, and Kyuboria is a satire/comedy. Do you like
writing humor, and do you find it easier or harder to write than "serious"
fiction?

By far Kyuboria was easier to write, because it's more me. People say it sounds like the way I talk, and I take that as an insult, but at least it's what I intended. In Palm Sunday I incorporated fiction with technology, which demanded a lot of research. Although I work with technology, I don't know everything. Palm Sunday was much more of a production because it was far longer, had to be carefully outlined, researched, and of course rewritten time and again. As my first book I'm very proud of it, but I know that if I had to do it again I could make it much better.

Humor is funnier.

5) You've been quite successful so far with two published novels and a
short film made from your screenplay. What, to you, is the hardest part of
the business of publishing and what is the best part of it?

Here's my take on it: Writing is hard, but fun. Marketing is dreadful, but necessary.

So marketing is my least favorite, and therefore, probably, my weakest aspect of the deal.

However...

When I rewrite a manuscript my strategy is always to take the weakest chapter and make it into the best chapter. Make the weakest page into the strongest page. The weakest dialogue into the strongest. I need to follow this model with marketing. If it is my weak point, I need to make it my strong point.

I just don't want to.

I guess I'll work on that one.

Bottom line, you've got to promote yourself and your work. Sometimes that means putting on a show. It means doing what your audience wants. It means GETTING an audience. This has been a pretty good year in that respect so far. I've done signings/events at three universities and a large high school, as well as at Barnes & Noble. It's fun, but also can be tiring, especially when you have a few events bunched together.

6) Stock question: Dinner with anyone, dead or alive. Who is it?

The stock answer would be Jesus, or King Arthur, or Hemmingway, or Washington, or Sun Tzu, or someone else famous and respected.

Jesus would be useless, because he's already told us everything we need to know.

(Sorry, Jesus. I actually mean that as a compliment. But you already knew that.)

Seriously, I would pick one of two people. Either my brother or my daughter. My brother died in 1983, and I would certainly love to have a conversation with him. My daughter, who is now 25, is severely disabled, and has never had a conversation with anyone, although she is alert and responsive. A dinner with her that included even a brief chat would be my first choice.

You just gave me an idea for a book...

7) One CD, one book, one DVD and a desert island. What book, CD, and DVD
do you take?

CD: Neil Diamond's greatest hits.

DVD: Collection of Monty Python, including Holy Grail

Book: "How to get off a Desert Island"


8) Other than fiction writing, what's the biggest lie you ever told?

"Great" in answer to the question "How's it goin'?"

(standard office evasion)

9) You can't have both: Would you rather have respect from your peers and
critical acclaim (but not making cash from writing), or would you rather be
a bestselling author with the fat coin?

I've already tasted respect as a diligent State Worker.

It's alright.

Give me sales baby, give me sales.