FRED SCHOENEMAN

Fred Schoeneman is a pretty interesting cat. He's an ex-Army Ranger and hull diver who lives in the Bay area. His website is a politically charged and well-reasoned blog that cuts a chain-saw-like swath through the heavily liberal slant found in much of the artistic community. Unafraid to voice his oft-dissenting views, what you won't find is a multitude of columns serving as personal manifestoes. Instead, it's often a link-fest of information and blunt commentary. He's drawn heat for some of the politically incorrect frivolity inspired by his "Would you hit it?" polls, but in his typical bold fashion, he doesn't shy away from it. Another reason to visit his site, you'll find links to some of his other work: short stories such as "Mr. Browning is a Dick" (originally published in Carve Magazine) and "Diamond Dog", which won the The Bocock-Gerard undergraduate fiction prize..

As a fiction writer, Schoeneman commands the same blunt force and startling power in his prose style. He's not a writer who takes you by the hand and gently leads you on a journey. He whacks you over the head and shoves you in the middle of a situation. This style is perfectly suited to the subject matter of his first novel, Army Porn, where Fred takes us through the training of a "tabless bitch" in a Ranger platoon – and beyond.

It'd be easy to write him off as one of the cadre of up-and-coming ultra-masculine, cock-and-balls dick-lit writers who're attempting to regain a market share from the currently estrogen-laden bookshelves. But that'd be selling him short – way short. His story in the August issue of Zyzzyva, "The Bottom Buster", is a good example of his nuanced appeal and deeper talent. Though the prose is forceful and commanding, it's not long into the story before you realize that the surface appeal is just enough to draw you in and drag you deeper. And much like the water itself, under the surface is a churning, vastly engrossing world teeming with life.

So would I hit it? Abso-fucking-lutely.

And then I'd make him my bitch.

1) Who are some of your favorite writers, and how do you think they've influenced you?

George MacDonald Frasier has a series of novels I started reading as a kid, and have come back to read through again several times since. He does a marvelous job with the anti-hero in historical fiction, bringing it alive, making it funny and real -- so much so that when the first American edition of "Flashman" was published in the late 60's, the NYTimes reviewed it as non-fiction. Frasier knows enough about structure to discard the three-act format -- he wrote the screenplay to "James Bond in 'Octopussy'"" -- and still succeed. He has good style and advanced technique, and I've tried to imitate that in my own work.

Though not as prolific as Frasier, Robert O'Connor is another of my favorites. As far as I know, his only published works are "Buffalo Soldiers," which was made into a movie of the same name, and a story in Granta about a guy running a creative writing workshop in prison. I read "Buffalo Soldiers" back in 1995, while doing a tour as a prison guard at GITMO.

Yeah, that GITMO.

The book got me thinking there could be a market for some of the things I was thinking about and later, when I was in college and trying to get some easy credits in a fiction-writing class, I copied O'Connor's style for "Diamond Dogs." I've modified the style some, but Army Porn grew out of that story, so I owe him a lot. If I find a publisher for the book, I'll wait until it gets remaindered and mail a copy out to him.

2) What do you think is your greatest strength or asset in your writing? Your biggest weakness or flaw?

Ambiguity.

3) You've written novels and short stories. Which would you like to focus on in the future?

Novels, unquestionably. I appreciate the short story form and all, but right now there are too many people practicing it; too many people jerking off in MFA programs trying to get published by the New Yorker, or trying to get a MacArthur grant, or an NEA grant or whatever, just so they can get lit cred within the short story community and some kind of teaching sinecure at a liberal arts college and fill their days with readings of other semi-famous writers in front of nubile, awe-struck young students. I say: There's a fine line between being a short story writer and just another useless poet.

In the interest of full disclosure though, I tried for a Stegner Fellowship and submitted to the New Yorker. Got neg'ed on both counts. I'd jump on either of those opportunities if they came up, which, well, let's just say that I doubt the opportunity will come up. But it's instructive to look at the two writers I mentioned above, GMF and O'Connor. GMF has written at least a dozen books and O'Connor has only written one. GMF worked as a journalist for most of his adult life, and O'Connor has been a creative writing teacher. Draw your own conclusions. Or, okay. I'll draw them for you: MFA programs are full of writers. Writers are neurotic. Being around neurotic people can make one neurotic, too much a slave to detail, a perfectionist, and this can get in the way of output.

4) "The Bottom Buster" is about a hull diver and Army Porn is about a Ranger – both high-testosterone and dangerous jobs which you have experience with. Are you a thrill-seeker, Fred? And if so, do you think this sort of "bravery" helps you in your writing to go deeper?

First off: I'm a pussy -- which, I try to make that clear in my writing. I hated jumping in Battalion, whether it was jumping onto an airfield, or jumping at night, or jumping at night onto an airfield, or jumping onto a nice sandy DZ without any combat equipment on a nice sunny day. Some guys from Battalion like jumping, though. So no, I'm definitely not a thrill-seeker. The only reason I signed the Ranger contract is because it offered more money for college than any of the other stuff, and I thought the extra $150 per month in jump-pay would be nice. Until I realized I hated jumping. But there are some good guys in those units, and you learn a lot about yourself in them. The most important thing I learned is that some men are killers, and I'm not one of them.

The thing I liked most about that life was the patrolling, walking around as part of a fire-team or squad. Sometimes it's wet and cold, but other times it can be very calming. And I can still trust those guys with my life.

5) Your "style" is pretty unique and addictive. Is the cadence and phrasing something you put a lot of effort into, or once you set the initial tone does it come fairly easily? You're also great at turning pithy and punchy phrases. Do you slave over those, or are you that witty?

Thanks for that. People don't understand the Army, or at least not the guys who end up as career NCO's. With the military stuff, I just think of some of the squad leaders I used to work for and try to write like what they would write, if they weren't so busy watching UFC. I'm just a good mimic. As far as the pithy and punchy phrases, yeah, I slave over them. Sometimes, I go over the top with one.

Incidentally, the guy I learned metaphor from is one of my Junior College professors named Gary Hoffman. He wrote a composition book called "Adios, Strunk & White." If you know anyone who teaches freshman English, tell them to check it out and consider it for their syllabus.

6) Stock question: Dinner with anyone, dead or alive. Who is it?

My Grandfather. He enlisted in the Royal South African Army Corps of Engineers during World War II, but died of leukemia in 1945. My mother was four at the time. My Grandmother, a beautiful and graceful woman back in her day never remarried. She keeps a shrine to him on her dressing table now, some 60 years later. I'd like to know more about why.

7) One CD, one book, one DVD and a desert island. What book, CD, and DVD do you take?

That's too hack.

8) Other than fiction writing, what's the biggest lie you ever told?

"I'll pull out."

9) You can't have both: Would you rather have respect from your peers and critical acclaim (but not making cash from writing), or would you rather be a bestselling author with the fat coin?

The latter. I want to write books that entertain people first and make them think about things second. I think Stephen King is a good writer, and so is Michael Connolly. Norman Mailer, on the other hand, is critically acclaimed and so was "Armies of the Night;" but personally, I'd rather read back issues of Grit. I guess the interesting thing about this question is, who are my peers? I hope my peers aren't other writers. Writers are boring in person, you know? They (we) write because we're lonely, we've never really fit in, or we're ugly, or we're hiding some big secret of self-loathing. I write because I hope one day to have an audience of actual readers for the things I write, not just a bunch of "peers" cupping my satchel. I want readers, I want fans; I want those readers to invest, and figure the best way to get them invested is to have them pay for my books.

When those books are published, that is. Which, okay, that has not happened yet. And which might not ever happen, I admit that. In which case, I may have to sit around cupping my own satchel.

10) And this is just a question for my personal knowledge: When I go see the A's play, what's the best thing to eat from the concession stand?

Wrong answer, Susan. When you watch the Athletics's play, you do not take time out to go to the concession stand. You do not take time out to pee in the restroom. What you do is buy all your food from the dude with the corn-rows walking up and down the aisles, and you pee into someone else's empty beer cup when they aren't looking.

If you manage to get to the game early, though, I suppose it would be acceptable to buy ten of those dollar hot-dogs (which is the limit), and eat one per inning.